Your aspirations are not exactly limited to fame and wealth, but those are up there in the hierarchy of life goals. You love to go out on the town with your pals and party till dawn and you have a reputation as an excellent drinking buddy. Most people find you easy going and charming, which might have something to do with the fact that you just bought everyone a round of shots. It's possible that you do all of this so that you'll stop thinking about your exes and how totally impressed they would be with your fabulously awesome lifestyle but regardless, like the hero of this tale or Fitzgerald himself, you'll probably end up broke and alone and possibly killed — but boy, will it have been one hell of a ride.
You are a sensitive soul who feels a deep sense of justice. Things that you find morally unjust and corrupt make you very upset and when you see someone being unkind you get physically uncomfortable. That being said, you do believe that there is good in people and that someday all of the wrongs of the world will be righted in the grand, cosmic scale of life. You are a defender of the weak, a champion of the downtrodden...
Or you saw Easy A that one time and ever since you can't get Emma Stone in that corset with those heels and that red A on her chest out of your head. Or maybe that's just me.
You're one of those people who just tells it like it is. When your friend needs an honest opinion on an outfit or they want to know if the new dude they're dating really comes off as a totally awkward weirdo to everyone he meets, then they come to you. You tell it straight. Which can be scary to other people since social norms kind of dictate that you shouldn't be spouting those painfully aggressive truths left and right. It tends to leave folks feeling a little uncomfortable, even if they asked for it, which means despite your honesty and integrity you probably have about three close friends and a cat whose name may or may not be Pip.
There's no two ways about it: Jane Austen is your girl. She's still your favorite author and you've read each of her novels at least twice (not to mention gotten white girl wasted while watching the movie adaptations). Deep down you've always been pining for your perfect, wet, see-thru shirt clad, flawed-in-all-the-right-ways Mr. or Mrs. Darcy. You really believe that everyone has that one guy or gal that's perfect for them and while you won't hesitate to set your friends up or encourage them to put themselves out there romantically, you are also crazy loyal. You are armed with an arsenal of sassy zingers ready to dish out at a moment's notice and you are not afraid to use them.
You are a rare breed, and by that I mean not a breed at all but a bizarre mix of traits that culminated in this nonsense becoming your favorite high school reading book. You might be in possession of a rigid moral compass and find this dramatic yarn to be a fun way to remind yourself of the horrors that humanity is capable of. Alternatively, you're a pathological liar. You might be a theater geek and were so starved for a theatrical reading assignment that you attached yourself to the first play that was tossed your way. No matter which of these categories you fall into, you almost certainly have a short attention span seeing as no one in their right mind would pick this as their favorite unless the only thing they could bring themselves to read all the way through was a play that's 143 pages long and consists mostly of white space.
You love reading — seriously, it's your favorite thing. And you'll read anything: the "H" encyclopedia, the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire, an annotated history of bird watching, an epic poem that others fear and cringe at the mere mention of... essentially, anything. You are bold, competitive, undaunted by a challenge and considering all of the books that you read, not to mention reference materials, you probably have a crazy big vocabulary. You're one of those people who was so not cool in high school but whose social status will only grow over time as people recognize all of the positive characteristics that you have to offer. While today you may be sitting at home, reading this with one hand and clutching your well-worn copy of the Iliad with the other, tomorrow you'll be taking the world by storm. Or like, soon.
You protest everything. Especially if it has anything to do with the government and definitely if it involves the arts or cute kittens. "Socially conscious" is what you would call yourself: tree-hugging, bra-burning liberal fanatic may or may not be what other people call you behind your back, but you don't care — you're too busy educating others and exposing them to their own ignorance while you simultaneously sign a petition to stop Internet censorship 482 times using proxy servers so that each of your votes will count. You probably also watch a lot of Netflix and spend way too much time on Tumblr, which means, according to Ray Bradbury, you entirely missed the point of this book. But whatever.
While this may have been your favorite in high school, The Hunger Games is your current obsession (or one of those other off-shoot, dystopian, children-killing-other-children-in-a-power-struggle-that-is-an-obvious-metaphor-for-the-ugliness-of-humanity books). It's possible that you feel guilty for bullying some poor, bespectacled kid when you were younger, but it's more likely that the harsh realities this book illuminated for you have really stuck, and sometimes at night you ask yourself hypothetical questions like How would I survive on a deserted island? Could I bring myself to kill a living creature? You like to think that you'd take the high road, but deep down you know you'd throw some paint on your face and hunt you down a pig because that's how you survive, damnit!
You're an English major, or you were at one point in time. You are constantly lording your English major-y knowledge over people, correcting everyone's grammar and reminding them which of today's colloquial phrases they owe to Shakespeare's genius. Seriously, your vocabulary is bigger, your library is more comprehensive and even though you're so broke your bank account regularly borders on single digits you are somehow always in possession of cheap alcohol and you will not hesitate to throw a tomato in that guy's face if he says if he misquotes Hamlet one more time!
You are a career driven, goal oriented individual. You want the dream job and you aren't afraid to put in the blood, sweat and tears to get it. Everything takes a back seat to pursuing your passion, so you're getting pretty tired of your mother demanding to know when you're going to give her grandchildren and your friends insisting that "you would just love my coworker — why don't I set you two up?" Don't they understand? You don't have time for things like a white picket fence and the Labrador puppy and 2.5 kids that come with it — the world is your oyster and you intend to slurp that baby down with gusto, suburbia be damned!
You're pretentious and uppity: some may even call you a snob. But you're smart. Annoyingly smart, and you're always going on about the use of repetition of themes in such and such film and how symbolism in television can really get a point across in a subversive way if done correctly. Screaming "the horror, the horror!" when someone is having a bad hair day is your favorite joke and even though people find you corny and occasionally insufferable, everyone begrudgingly agrees that you're actually pretty interesting and intelligent and maybe not so bad of a guy, if you'd just shut up about literary theory already.
A great listener and a possessor of true compassion, you are a gold star of a person. You care deeply for your loved ones and are always sympathetic and ready to help in whatever way you can. You do more chores around the house than anyone, you buy almost all of the toilet paper and dish soap because nobody else remembers, and picking up that one friend from yet another hole-in-the-wall bar so that she won't stumble home drunk at 4 in the morning has become somewhat of a routine. If you find yourself doing your sister's taxes for the third year in a row or considering the possibility of murder in defense of someone you care about, take stock: you may need to readjust your life choices.