This is everything. A man snuck into a Five Guys burger restaurant after hours to cook himself a burger on the grill. Maybe this is just a sign that Five Guys needs to consider extending their business hours, because obviously the demand is there.

A Starbucks customerreceived his grande white mocha with the label "Diabetes here I come," where normally his misspelled name should have been. Of course, what could've been a harmless and funny joke turned out to be hurtful when the man returned to the Starbucks with a note that read, "2 of my sisters are diabetic, so... not funny."

Ah, well, bored Starbucks barista, you can't win 'em all.

Three castaway men were rescued by a U.S. Navy plane after they went missing for three days when their skiff was overtaken. 

Well, it's good to know that every desert island film ever made wasn't lying about one thing: It is possible to be saved by spelling out HELP in palm fronds.

Alright, in the fight against North Carolina's recent anti-LGBTQ laws, porn has entered the game, and shit is about to get real.

Popular porn website (we don't know for sure if it's popular, of course, that's what our sources say...) XHamster has been refusing service for North Carolina users since Monday, as they have spent "50 years fighting for equality for everyone."

Checkmate, North Carolina.

More than 180 meters below the surface of the Loch Ness Lake lurks a strange and mysterious thirty-foot-long figure just spotted by a marine drone.

No, unfortunately, the figure is not the mythical Loch Ness Monster, whose supposed sightings have fascinated people for almost 100 years. It was, in fact, a sunken movie prop from the 1969 film The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes.

This collapsed outdoor basketball court in Huntington Park, California looks like something out of Space Jam. According to the school district, the "man-made water collection basin" is not a sinkhole.

Boring. We're gonna keep telling people the Looney Tunes were finally able to beat the Monstars and let's just say, things got a little heated.

Augustus Sol Invictus (in case you're wondering, he did in fact change his name to that) is running for a Senate seat in Florida. Oh, and after walking to the Mojave Desert from Florida two years ago, Invictus killed a goat and drank its blood upon his return.

Yes, he is running for the U.S. Senate, not the Iron Throne in Westeros.

AMC Theater's new CEO is considering allowing cellphone use in theaters; "You can't tell a 22-year-old to turn off their cellphone. That's not how they live their life."

Um, yes you can and definitely should.

(Update: AMC announced one day later that after a gigantic social media backlash against the proposal, AMC Theatres will NEVER allow texting in their theaters. The people have spoken.)

Turns out golf really is a rich man's game. While the sport was popular in China in the '80s and '90s before being outlawed in 2015, just last week, the Discipline Inspection and Supervision News announced, "Since it is only a sport, there is no right or wrong about playing golf."

The government of Shanghai just released new regulations that instruct adult children who don't live with their elderly parents to "visit or send greetings often," or they could be filed for neglect by their parents. After a warning, the credit scores of adult children could be negatively effected.

Good to know you can never really grow out of being grounded.