Not too much to report here besides a woman in British Columbia who accidentally mistook expanding builder's foam with hair mousse. She ended up in the hospital after the foam continued to expand and apparently got a bunch of leaves caught in it?
Dammit, Florida, can there be one week where you don't make a What the Guff!? list? Seriously, it's embarrassing, but here we are again. This week we have a man calling 911 because a monkey was sitting on his mailbox eating mail.
The police responded to the call shortly after 8:00 am and had to lure the monkey down from a street sign with a water bottle before a neighbor came out and identified the monkey as "Zeke."
Remember that Ice Bucket Challenge that haunted your newsfeeds but actually raised some money for a good cause? Well, this isn't another one of those. Apparently the new craze sweeping Mexico is affluent women doing bumps of cocaine on video because they can. Although it is not confirmed if this is an actual "trend," at least three videos have been posted of women doing bumps of coke on video and inviting their friends to do the same.
In my personal "oh HELL no" of the week, a woman reported "scratching" coming from her ear only to discover it was a spider building a web. According to reports,Li Meng held off on calling the doctor about the noises she was hearing because she was terrified it was evil spirits tormenting her. Except...the pain only got worse and when she was brought into the doctors wherethey discovered a small spider spinning a web in her ear and resting on her earlobe. According to Meng, the spider must have climbed in her ear while hiking and climbing trees with her boyfriend.
As if people needed another reason to be complete dbags on social media, I would like to introduce you to Peeple. The new app is set to launch in November and will allow you to rate the people in your life like they're a crappy restaurant on Yelp. According to the creators of Peeple, you'll be able to rate people three ways: professionally, personally and romantically. The app in theory will allow people to see if the people they're meeting are "shady" or have a history of being terrible, except we all know it will be used by bullied and scorned lovers because no good deed goes unpunished.
I can't even begin to get into how utterly stupid the idea of rating people publicly is, so let me just say that you can all give me a 0 on Peeple for all I care and I'll go back to silently judging people like the world intended.
As if watching other people being sickeningly happy wasn't torture enough, imagine receiving a bill for skipping out. Unfortunately for Jessica Baker from Minnesota, this dark fever dream became a reality when she missed out on a wedding due to a family emergency, then later received a bill for $75.90. "It listed, we would have had two herb crusted walleye and there was also a service and tax charge." In addition to the bill, there was a note included to explain why she was being charged:
"This cost reflects the amount paid by the bride and groom for meals that were RSVP'd for, reimbursement and explanation for no show, card, call or text would be appreciated."
The reason Baker was forced to miss the wedding was because her mother was set to watch her children. At the last minute Baker's mother phoned to say that she wouldn't be able to make it and since the wedding invite said "no kids" it meant "no wedding" for Baker and her husband.
7. You Children Can't Play Tag Because They're Paper
Children are delicate flowers who shouldn't be exposed to fresh air or bodily contact if they want to thrive, at least, according to a school district that has banned children from playing "tag" in order to ensure their physical and emotional well-being. Yup, according to the Mercer Island School District in Washington, children are being protected with the new ban on the oldest playground game in history, which is weird even to the children's parents.
Parents have been questioning the school district for the crazy ban and the school district has responded with "This means while at play, especially during recess and unstructured time, students are expected to keep their hands to themselves. The rationale behind this is to ensure the physical and emotional safety of all students."
In Austin, Texas, 61-year-old Ethel Jean Banks is being charged with a felony after threatening her brother with a knife. According to the police, Banks got into an argument with her brother after he chowed down on some BBQ ribs...hers. The pair began arguing when Banks decided to cut the crap and pull out a 10 inch butcher knife, pin down her brother, and whisper "I'm going to kill you," to him.
A Little Rock, Arkansas women, Stephanie Hernandez, 21, mother of two, posted snaps of herself and her boyfriend, Rafael Gonzalez the other day before tragedy fell. According to reports, Hernandez was taking snapchats of her and her boyfriend in the house they were set to move into, snaps in which her boyfriend was pointing a gun at her.
Maya Donnelly woke up to the surprise of her life when she heard what sounded like thunder coming from her roof. Figuring it was a storm, she went back to sleep and thought nothing of it until she went out to her carport the next morning. A small, carefully wrapped package had fallen through the roof of her carport and smashed her dog's home. Inside the package Donnelly discovered $10,000 worth of marajuana.