A couple was arrested this week after a domestic dispute resulted in a Taco Bell burrito being thrown (the real tragedy) at the husband's head and a fork being stabbed through the wife's hand a-la I Still Know What You Did Last Summer. The couple reportedly laughed as they were booked by the police. At least these sick weirdos found each other, right? No.
3. Drunk Driver Uses Periscope App to Get Arrested
A Busch beer truck and a Frito Lay chips truck collided on a highway in central Florida, spilling beer and chips all over Interstate 95. In the ultimate metaphor for dieting, the coincidental crash resulted in many hangry drivers growing restless in the presence of scattered snack food just out of their reach.
5. Oops, Apparently the Internet Is No Place for an AI Teen
It only took 24 hours for Microsoft's new teenage chat-bot Tay to devolve from an innocent teen girl ("The AI with zero chill") into a Nazi-sympathizing sexually explicit conspiracy theorist. What can we say, the Internet is a dark place full of corruption.
6. Mom's Cautionary Tale About Late Fees Finally Comes to Fruition
Back in 2002, he was just a teenager who rented Freddy Got Fingered on VHS from the local rental store J&J's, maybe ate some nachos and smoked some weed in his parents basement on a solid Friday night.
Today, he's been arrested for never returning the film to the now closed rental store, 14 years later. We, for one, are proud of the American justice system and it's use of limited manpower and resources in these troubled times.
7. Move Over Judge Judy, No-Judicial-Background Sarah Palin Is Here
Sarah Palin is like that itch America just can't seem to scratch for some mind-numbing reason. The former Alaska governor who ran for vice president back in 2008 is once again clawing her way into the spotlight, this time by signing a deal to star in a reality court show that hopes to air next year.
But unlike Judge Judy and Judge Joe Brown, Palin has no juris doctor degree. Why is this happening?
8. Teen Thought She Had the Flu, Nope It Was a Baby
So, next time you get the flu and are holed up in the bathroom sitting on the porcelain goddess, bucket in front of your face, praying for respite, thinking there is no effing way you are going to survive this mortal expelling of every bodily fluid... just remember that this teen was going through excruciating labor pains like a nonchalant badass, all, "NBD, it's just the flu or something."
9. AI Can Now Write Creatively, Failed Novelists Everywhere Give Up
In Japan, a short novel co-written by an artificial intelligence robot made it past the first round of a literary contest. Granted, the contest was open to "applicants who are not human beings (AI programs and others)" and honors science fiction writing, but the short novel (and its eerie title) "The Day a Computer Writes a Novel" is still creepy AF.