In the ultimate eff you to the universe, an Australian billionaire is building a Titanic II, which will set sail sometime in 2018. This feels like one of those times we'll look back at history and be like, "Yeah, maybe that wasn't the best idea...again."

We're all for tempting fate, but this seems down right ballsy.

It's been 70 years, but this week, World War II veteran Norwood Thomas took a journey across the globe to reunite with his wartime girlfriend in Australia. The couple met in London when Joyce Morris was 17 years old, and they proceeded to exchange letters and proposals for years. Due to a misunderstanding (remember, back before the Internet, mistakes were fatal to your love life) Joyce thought Thomas had moved on. After lives spent apart, including their own weddings and children, the pair reunited this past Wednesday. Nicholas Sparks is waiting with bated breath to capitalize on their long-lost love story.

In Florida, a man was charged with assault with a deadly weapon after he threw a mother-effing alligator through a Wendy's drive-thru window. An alligator. Through a drive-thru window. 

Think about that for a second.

A rare albino turtle was found in Australia last week, and while this may sound like a heart-warming story, volunteer Leigh Warneminde explained that alibno turtles don't often survive in the wild as they have no natural camouflage. So there's your depressing news for the day. Cute little Alby here is probably already dead. Sorry. 

Using superpowerful magnets strategically placed in the base of your shoes, a New York startup company has created MoonWalker shoes to help you defy gravity, and simulate what it feels like to walk on the moon. 

Just in case Wicked wasn't doing it for you anymore.

Allegedly, a Russian teacher stabbed and killed his friend after a drunken brawl sprouted from an argument over whether poetry or prose was the ultimate form of literature. In case you're wondering, poetry passionately won the argument, and that teacher is now friendless, destined as Wordsworth wrote to "[wander] lonely as a cloud."

On Monday, Chipotle customers could receive a free burrito by texting "RAINCHECK" to 888-222. Unfortunately for Henry Levine, a few hundred customers added an extra 2 to the number, and berated the Maryland lawyer for not being the desired burrito provider.

Customers were pretty nasty to Levine, but we get it. It's a free burrito, after all.

A region of space has been discovered hiding behind the Milky Way, revealing hundreds of previously unknown galaxies. Hundreds. Who knows what else the Milky Way has been hiding?! She has been rather distant lately...

A man aboard an Air Mediterranee flight started a massive brawl, urinated on another passenger and was pinned down by flight attendants before being escorted, shirtless, off the plane in Lyon, causing a three hour delay for the rest of the passengers.

He did not, then, ride off into the sunset atop his trusty stallion. 

A 600-pound pig escaped from a farm and wandered up to the primary voting polls in New Hampshire this week. In the pig's defense, we've all mistaken our political system for a swine-filled barnyard from time to time.