The FBI is asking Apple to build a backdoor function into iPhone products in order to crack into the San Bernardino shooter's phone. In an unexpected turn of events, however, Apple said eff you in a public letter, and they are now the protectors of our freedom. Against our own government and the FBI.
Hmm, didn't see that one coming.
2. Antigay Group Accidentally Supports Love, Acceptance
The Australian antigay group, The Stop Safe Schools Coalition (seriously), attempted to thwart a safe space dance provided for teens who don't identify as straight, but oops, actually ended up buying tickets for teens who couldn't afford the event. Apparently someone didn't understand the concept of crowdsourcing.
So, for every ticket the bigots bought, one LGBTQ teen gets to attend the event for free. The dance even had to move to a larger venue to make room for all the teens who can now experience the safety and love provided by, of all people, an antigay group.
Ah, the loveliness of irony.
3. 'Hangry' Customer Bites Wendy's Employee Over Wrong Order
So, apparently, "Smoking kills more people than Obama, although he kills a lot of people," as translated from this Russian anti-smoking ad featuring the U.S. president. Just remember, "Don't smoke -- don't be like Obama." Yeah, kids! Don't be like Obama, he's just the leader of the free world or whatever.
5. Cops Swarm, Realize Family Is NOT Eating Brains
In Argentina, referee Cesar Flores was shot and killed by a player who earlier received a red card. For real. The player walked off the field, grabbed a gun from his bag and returned to shoot the 48-year-old ref. And somehow, police have yet to nab the guy. What the literal Guff?!
We all told Karen she shouldn't have that extra shot of rum, but she just wouldn't listen. You know Karen. Belligerent and angry, she grabbed a kitchen knife and started chasing men out of a Brazilian bar! The cops even came, it was so embarrassing.
Oh, did we mention Karen is a monkey?
10. Employee Accidentally Broadcasts Porn on Screen at Chinese Mall
A mall employee accidentally connected their computer to a giant screen in a Chinese mall, exposing shoppers to explicit adult content. Like, very adult content. OK, it was straight up porn. Needless to say, people were not super happy. Or super happy, depending on who you talk to.