Let us start this week's What The Guff with my favorite news story:
This week a liquor loving duck by the name Star got into a pub brawl with none other than the pub owner's dog. Star Hayman, the duck in question, is known around town for his love of ale and his bow tie. Star often frequents bars wearing his bow tie where he is given ale and even his own seat. This particular instance, however, Star got too turnt and began a fight with the pub owner's dog, who split Star's lower beak in half during their fight.
Three instructor pilots at Laughlin Air Force Base, Texas, are facing the end of their careers after investigators went through their phones and found cultural references. The references in particular? "Dancing with molly" from the party anthem "We Can't Stop" by Miley Cyrus. The investigators thought the pilots were referring to the party drug, but all three passed drug tests. We're not sure why the investigators have never heard of Miley Cyrus, but spokespeople have reached out claiming that the text messages contained "song lyrics, movie lines, and other obvious cultural references that seem to have been painfully misunderstood by investigators."
3. Little Girl Has CVS-Themed Birthday Party: Becomes a Legend
Finally, I can stop stressing out about what to do for my birthday this year.Sarah Fortune of Arkansas has a 4-year-old daughter who loves CVS so much, she decided to have her birthday party there. At the event, she wore the classic red and white colors of CVS and adults were given TicTacs in prescription bottles. CVS got in on the event too, providing this sweet lady with snacks and drinks for her celebration.
If you're looking for something to get me this year, may I suggest a CVS gift card? This young girl is my hero. You can check out her mom's blog post about the party here!
Alpena Police responded early Sunday, Oct. 18 to a call that there may be a possible home invasion happening. The owners of the home called the police after hearing what they would later find out was a plate of cupcakes being knocked over.
After the police arrived on the scene, they had very little trouble tracking down who had broken in: They found the culprit two blocks away, drunk and covered in cake frosting.
In one of the most disturbing news stories I read this week, The Sydney Morning Herald reports that a 22-year-old food delivery man slept with his customer's wife. 22 year-old Amit Hamal was delivering Indian food almost two hours after the order was placed, when he noticed that the front door was unlocked and let himself in.
Even stranger, he crept past his customer's bedroom where he noticed the wife of the man who placed the order asleep in bed. He removed her panties and then proceeded to have sex with her.
The following morning the woman asked her husband about their sexual encounter the previous night, and he claimed that he had fallen asleep on the couch and had no idea what she was talking about.
It wasn't until the 22-year-old called the woman and asked her if she would want to be casual sex partners that she realized that she had been assaulted.
Chicago Bulls wingman Jimmy Butler is having a pretty great week! He just signed a $90-million dollar, 5 year contract during his off season. To celebrate, he recently told reporter Bryan Smith in Chicago Magazine that he has removed the rearview mirror in his car because he never wants to look back.
Although called-off weddings are usually a sad affair, this bride decided to turn her would-be wedding day into a philanthropist effort. QuinnDuane called her mother on Monday to let her know that her fiancé had decided not to go through with their planned California wedding. Instead of retreating, the bride decided to invite the homeless population ofSacramento for an epic meal.
Did you really think Florida wouldn't make it on the list this week?
Ryan Patrick Bautista and Leanne Hunn, both 34, decided to hold up their inevitable arrest during an all-night stand off with police in Jacksonville. Their reasoning? They wanted to make love one last time. The cops were finally able to arrest the pair of love birds after hours when Hunn called the police and told them she would come quietly if they let her sleep with her boyfriend one last time.
They were charged with armed burglary and resisting arrest.