1. Under Pressure
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Local woman takes fire extinguisher into orbit. News at 11.
2. I Scream
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"I know it's a promotion, but it feels like a demotion."
3. Rock Slide
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If a man stage dives in the forest and no one is around to catch him...
does he still live in his mother's basement?
4. Flooded
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Insurance Agent: What's the vehicle number?
Barge Operator: For which of these 50 vehicles?
5. Totaled
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Good news and bad news. Actually, just bad news.
6. Blunder Mifflin
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This would have made a great series finale on The Office.
Dwight becomes regional manager and immediately gets trampled to death by 2 tons of paper. RIP. "Really into paper!"
7. Cub Flub
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Bleacher seats at Wrigley Field = $80
Small beer = $200
The fact that is what televised? Priceless.
8. Happiest Place on Earth
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It's okay. They only travelled 3,000 miles to do this. No big deal.
9. Award Winner
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Fun Fact: This is the most messed up thing I've seen in a while!
10. Whoops
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President Obama turns around, "haven't you ever heard of knocking?"
11. Van-dle
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This kid LIKES his mom, REALLY LIKES his dad, and ABSOLUTELY LOVES vandalism.
14. Omelette
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As the saying goes, "you gotta break a few eggs to ruin your new floors."
15. Bouncy House
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Go home, trampoline. You're drunk.