There's nothing more relaxing than a good massage. But it's important to keep in mind that massage therapists aren't emotionless pleasure robots. They're human beings, and these are some of the things customers do that annoy them the most.
Yes, having those knots rubbed out of your deep tissue can be intense and immensely satisfying. But try to not sound like you're recreating Meg Ryan's diner scene from When Harry Met Sally. They're trying to create a peaceful ambiance, not screams you'd hear in a haunted house.
On the other side of the spectrum are clients who don't make any noise. If there's something that needs work or if they're being too gentle or too rough, massage therapists want to know. They're there for you and want to know how they can improve the experience for you in the moment instead of the next day by reading a snarky Yelp review.
The purpose of you being here is to get comfortable and relax. It's hard to help if you're constantly squirming around and tensing up at every touch. Please stop shifting around on the table so much, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and let the therapists take it from here.
You know what sucks? When you spend an hour giving a deep, intimate massage to someone only to find out they "don't have any cash on them." How does this even happen? This isn't a charity, it's a business.
Every towel you use will need to be washed. Please keep that in mind and only grab an extra one if you truly need it. Massage therapists aren't maids. Besides, you don't want to overwhelm them and make them cut corners like some hotels do when it comes to doing laundry.
Remember what I said about massage therapists not being robots? Giving a massage is physically demanding. You may be catching them at the end of a long day, and they could be tired and sore themselves. Cut them a little slack now and don't try to make unrealistic demands.
Massage therapists can't help you if you refuse to come out from under the covers. They've worked with people of all ages, sizes, sexes and complexions. Believe me, you don't have anything they haven't seen before. That said...
They won't judge you if you're covered in fur, but it certainly isn't their favorite. Do you think you have a terrible job? Imagine finishing up an assignment and having your hands covered in oily hairballs that just came off a grunting dude who asked for a happy ending (which, by the way, is another thing they hate).
No one is trying to shame you for having acne. But when you have large, juicy cysts, it makes the job of the massage therapist much more difficult, as they have to work around them and don't want to hurt you. They're happy to make accommodations for you, but they're not happy when your acne tells certain unfortunate things about you. This is one of the hardest parts of their job...
When you become as familiar with someone's body as massage therapists do, you sometimes uncover health issues. This can range from finding lumps or worrisome moles. While they may be able to save your life by informing you, giving someone this knowledge is never easy.
If you're an accountant, would you appreciate friends asking you to do their taxes for free? Remember, this is their job. When you're off the clock, do you want to do extra work for no pay? Didn't think so.
Most jobs you generally know what to expect each day you go in. As you've seen, every day is a new possible misadventure for massage therapists. Do your best to take some stress off of them and not do any of these things. They deserve to relax from time to time as well.