His "heel!" needs some fine-tuning, but he sure has mastered the "stay." Don't worry dog, we'll workshop it.
I'm glad that my Tom and Jerry fan fiction is finally getting the attention that it deserves.
"Just for that, from now on every time it looks like I'm inviting you to rub my tummy, I'm going to attack you for no reason."
—Every cat, ever.
Sleeping on the job? Now you'll NEVER get promoted (to getting to sit on the couch).
Oh what fun it is to ride on a one cow open sleigh, hey!
What do you mean my Christmases are weird?
Daffy thinks it's duck season. Bugs thinks he's having an identity crisis.
"I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti, all inside of a Kong toy."
It was only a manner of time before man's best friend turned on us. Probably because he saw that cookbook.
Lions: A type of animal that will most certainly kill me if I ever came across it in the wild.
Tigers: A type of animal that will most certainly kill me if I ever came across it in the wild...with sassy stripes!
These puppies are living the dream. You haven't lived until you've sniffed an airplane's butt.
You read it as, "No Chew Deterrent" but the dog reads it as, "Challenge Accepted." Frankly, you should be less angry at your dog for chewing up a bottle and more impressed that your dog can read.
"I can't catch a toy, can't catch my tail; when's a dog like me gonna catch a break?!"
Don't worry. If Finding Nemo taught me anything, he's just faking it and is going to reunite with Albert Brooks.
I don't know how I feel about Darkwing Duck's reboot.
Let's get dangerous (only really, really slowly).
That chihuahua really knows how to put the "fun" in "funeral" "fundamentally inappropriate."