This is what a Segway looks like in Iowa.
"I'll be back... I have to re-tape this mouse to my face."
"I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So help me dog. I mean, God. So help me God."
"Oohh, girl, who did your hair?"
"Oooh, girl, who did your hair?"
You don't have to be a jerk about it.
Finally, a realistic Barbie.
"Hello, I just moved to the neighborhood and I'm legally obligated to tell all my new neighbors about my unfortunate past. Arf, arf."
"Excuse me, where can I find Eternal Pain?"
"Aisle 10. Next to the Infinite Sadness section."
The difference between cats and dogs? A cat would have proudly rubbed it in your face, like, "Yeah, I did it!"
To infinity and Beyoncé.
Too soon, Elsa. Too soon.
"I'd like a pair of your smallest boots, please."
"For your baby?"
"Something like that."
"This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue handle ”” your hands will turn cold. You use the red handle...you've used a faucet before, right?"
"Who's the saddest of them all?"
If these two are inside web developing, then who's fighting crime?
They outsourced the work to Batman.
"I'll get you out of that bush, doggy...just as soon as I'm done taking 5000 pictures of you."
This little piggy went home (because it was drunk).
Stupid is as stupid does.
"Can someone bring me my water bowl? The room is spinning."
You had one job.
"Honk! Honk! You're in the wrong lane!"
"You bet giraffe I am!"