Forget the fact that he's reading while driving. How does he see with those totally blurry eyes????
There's this neat invention. It's the extra-long paint roller. It lets you do two important things:
1. paint hard-to-reach areas.
2. stay alive and not die tragically in a ladder fall.
Guys, it's fine. He just wants to pose for a picture. Say, "Jaws!"
Guy on right: "Yo! I need help!"
Guy on left: "OK yeah, sure. I'm reaching sooooo hard. I'm really trying. All this effort... Phew!"
Sure, this would be a bad idea if this were a water boat. But this is a sky boat. You drive really fast and brake hard and it launches into space. Trust me, it works.
...Don't try it at home.
Who are the Morans? Why do they need brains?? Are they zombies? This poster raises so many questions.
Oh no, it's not dangerous. He's just talking to his friend, Jeb, who was eaten last week. Jeb wants a Mounds Bar.
Don't worry. It was always Jeff's dream to win a Darwin Award while wearing swim trunks and holding a beer.
Has this guy never seen Fargo?! Foot + wood chipper = BAD COMBO.
"Seriously, boys, stop it. Let it go."
"Let it go? OK!"
In this Saw movie, two men are locked in a room with a bunch of wood, a saw and a table and told they have 12 hours to figure out how to escape.
SPOILER ALERT: They do NOT do well.
They were dumb until you realized they used Sharpies. Now they're really dumb.
Despite its silly name and even sillier look, the moose is one of the most dangerous animals on the planet. So good luck outrunning this beast, guys!
"OK, OK, this is going to work. All you have to do is drop it slowly. That's a thing humans can control, right? The speed at which giant objects fall to the ground?"
This is the anxiety of getting a ring stuck on your finger TIMES A MILLION. I do not envy this kid at all.
Look, it's not every day you get to ride your dinner before it's cooked. You have to grab ahold of these opportunities before they grab ahold of you...with massive pinchers.