1. Awesome Costume
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Some parents brag about their child's advanced reading skills.
His parents brag about his advanced sense of humor.
2. Toddler Irony
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The page for "What to Expect During the Teenage Years" is just a dollar with a frowny face on it.
3. Rain Tacos
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Tonight's forecast: Partly cloudy with a 60% chance of fiesta.
4. Horn Mustaches
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Kids are hilarious because they have no inhibitions.
Alcohol also takes away your inhibitions.
Kids are naturally drunk people.
5. Smurficide
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Turns out, Gargamel fathered a child.
And he was even more evil.
6. Procrastinating Painting
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Proof that just because you're lazy doesn't mean you can't be creative.
If Nike ever makes bedtime slippers they can use this ad.
7. Literally Hilarious
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What's in the chamber of secrets? Festive hats and a few dozen corgis.
8. Grand Theft LOL
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That kid has a bright future ahead of him, as the inspiration for Catch Me If You Can 2.
9. Thor
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Then the mother said "No really, he was in Rush!"
And the kid was like, "What's that?""
10. Math Lab
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Walter White, we found your soulmate.
And based on the drawing, you two have another thing in common: Your hairline.
11. Prison Play-yard
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This kid is doing 3-5 years hard time in the play pen for crawling while under the influence of baby formula.
12. I Ain't 'Fraid of No Baby
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When there's something smelly,
In your diaper,
Who you gonna call?
This cutie's mommy!
13. Going For the Land-speed Record
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The best thing about having kids is that they'll pretty much do anything you ask, and are fearless. It's like having a tiny Evel Knievel that works for chicken nuggets.