These Funny Fortune Cookies Will Wok Your World - The Time is Now | Guff

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1. The Time is Now

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Go home, fortune cookie. You're drunk.

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2. Surprise

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The waiter hands over the bill. It's $5000.

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3. No False Fortunes

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Hey! This fortune lifted this idea from the Ten Commandments!

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4. Black Rose

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Welp. Nice knowing you. I think this means you're going to die. LOL.

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5. Waiter?

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Oh yeah? Well, the tip you seek in on another table.

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6. Thanks for the Scoop

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And you are barely a cookie!

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7. The Truth is Out There

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I'm not telling you which kind of alien, I'll just say "some sort."

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8. Jail Break

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I'm happy for your new found freedom, but why you talking to me cookie?!

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9. Geez

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A fortune cookie that reads minds? No thanks!

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10. Avoid Gambling

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... and embrace irony.

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11. B-Sides

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Not all of Confucious's quotes were hits, okay?

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12. Can of Worms

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I just ate noodles. I don't want to think about worms, man.

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13. Fun Fact

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The "C" in "Vitamin C" stands for Confucious.

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14. The Jig is Up

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A cookie that can type words and emojis!

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15. The Answer

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Taking this photo in the palm of his hand was a nice touch.

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16. File Under

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Double double trouble.

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17. For the Record

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This is a fortune cookie about bird poop.

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18. Deep Thoughts

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Did Jack Handy write this? For the record, he'd be the best fortune writer of all time.

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19. Manipulative Cookie

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I think this cookie is playing mind games with me, bro!

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20. Either Or

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This is either a hilarious prank or a screen shot from Law and Order SVU.

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