This dumb joke just set women's rights back...well, $19.95.
Person A: "Do you have a pair of scissors I can borrow?"
Person B: "Here you go. Good luck!"
* Person A stabs Person B *
I hate to blame the victim, but honestly, I bet that cat deserved it.
This Chris guy really appreciates his friends.
"Hey, Chris! I just wanted to let you know that I love and appreciate you. I'll be here for you through thick and thin."
If her sister were to attack me, I'd outsmart her by holding up a piece of bread, thereby converting her nails into a bread knife. Then I'd offer her a slice, because love is the best response to hate.
There's a problem afoot. Two feet actually.
Sometimes one terrible thing begets another.
This guy seriously needs to get beet up. GTFO with that rat business! #BeetsByCray
The joke's on him. He's laying on a fart graveyard.
You know what they say, "An eye for an eye makes the whole world your off-road course."
Even by a cat's standards, this is savagely passive aggressive.
Either the Cookie Monster stopped by the office today or I'm calling the cops. This is a criminal offense!
Whoever left their hotel room like this for the maid, you are...
Okay in my book!
Just kidding. Grow up, you terrible monster!
"I'll have the #4, please."
"The plate of lies. Excellent choice."
It's pretty cool how that bike is about to get majorly chucked into some bushes.
This just in: Satan is a French man with a wicked sense of humor.