Nail biting: Sure, we do it to ourselves, but that doesn't mean that the struggle isn't still there. This is the internet, the struggle is always there!
When I was a student, this is basically what my nails looked like around finals week every semester. Obviously, I handled stress very, very well.*
I call this one: "Bored during a three-hour layover."
Also probably after finals week. Guys, finals week was the worst.
And I call this one: "Dear God, what have I done? Also, when are my grades for finals going to be posted?"
It's already hard to quit a habit. Imagine how much harder giving up, say, cigarettes would be if cigarettes grew on your body.
You didn't actively choose to, but suddenly you realize that you've been gnawing on your nails for the past 5 minutes. Oops!
You're out with the gals and one of them gives you the death stare. You realize you've been biting your nails. You feel shame. So much shame.
Everybody gets hangnails, but nail biters are more prone to getting them. Then they bite their nails to get rid of them and the cycle continues forever and ever until we die. Yayyyyyyy!
Look at my new bracelet! Just kidding! Look at my dry, cracking, nub of a nail!
You hate that it's come to this. It's like the human equivalent of spraying your dog with a spray bottle when it does something wrong.
Some people recommend snapping a rubber band against your wrist every time you have the urge to bite. Because if there's one thing mankind sure missed, it's flogging.
This one never worked for me because the Band-Aids made it hard for me to practice piano. Also because I looked like an idiot with 10 Band-Aids on at once.
"Shut up, conscious. WE'RE in charge now!" ”” Your delicious-looking nails.
The last time I got a manicure, the lady took one look at my hands and immediately burst into laughter. I never went back.
I may be gross, but at least I'm gross in good company, right? Just... Just let me have this.