If you're here, chances are you've just been dumped or you're about to be. Either way, you've come to the right place. Here at Guff we've had our breaks broken so many times we sometimes forget that not everyone is a cynical mess when it comes to love. Thankfully we have your back. Follow this guide and you'll be sailing through your breakup whether you've been together for two years or two minutes.
You've probably heard that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone new. Well, this is bad advice and you should stop hanging out with the people who tell you this. Your heart needs time to heal, and hooking up with someone new is the last thing you need. Although it may be tempting to have a casual fling, jumping into a new relationship directly after your old one is not the way to go.
We're not saying its a bad idea to make out with a cutie you meet in a bar/club, but maybe don't invite them to meet the parents right away.
As tempting as your phone may be when it comes to calming you down after a breakup, don't do it! With your emotions running high, you may start tweeting about your ex...or texting them horrible things...or deleting every photo of them off your Instagram....
If you still want to do these things after 72 hours, we can't stop you. We're just saying that it is easy to let our fingers do the talking when we're angry, and once it is on the Internet it is there forever.
You know that vision board you kept above your bed? You know the one with all the photos of the two of you when you were happy, the plans you still hadn't seen through? Yeah, that one. Take it off the wall and fling yourself on it and sob. Sob for all the dates you'll never go on together now. For all the great sex you'll no longer be having with the person you love.
It is vital to mourn the relationship because without allowing yourself to, there is little chance you'll get the closure you need.
One of the hardest parts about breaking up is realizing that the relationship is, indeed, over. You'll probably spend hours trying to figure out where you went wrong, but this is the last thing you should be doing. In order to move on from the relationship you need to draw a line in the sand and consider it over. Don't wait around for them to decide to take you back, consider it done and actually be done.
If the person who dumped you really wanted to be with you, they would be. Don't wait for them to change their mind or come around. Accept that it is over and consider it done for good. If not, you'll constantly be looking over your shoulder for that person instead of getting on with your life.
We're not saying you should go out and get hammered (unless you're into that, in which case go for it) but letting yourself have a few drinks couldn't hurt. Sometimes after the emotional roller coaster that is breaking up, all you can do is have a strong cocktail and contemplate your life.
Or call up your friends and then every pizza place within five miles of your house. Trust us when we say few things will cure your heart faster than a massive pile of your favorite junk food and a million comfortable blankets. Many people think they need to go out on the town after they're dumped, but the truth is that sometimes we just need to stay in and let our feelings and thoughts process.
There will come the painful day when it is time to clear out your "ex-file." As much as you will want to store all their gifts to you and their old t-shirts in a box in case you get back together, part of accepting the breakup is purging yourself of all these things.
Collect every CD they burned for you, every note they wrote and every gift and throw them away. Although this may seem harsh, it isn't the fact that they're from your ex that makes you want to throw these things away, it just means that you are hurting too much right now to be reminded of all the things that have memories of them attached.
If you think throwing these items is wasteful, donate the items or give them to a close friend who will hold onto them until you're ready to look at them.
As we've mentioned before, journaling is incredibly good for you. What could be better than journaling about your breakup in order to get over it? By jotting down all the thoughts ”” bad, good, sad, whatever, you're putting an investment into moving on. By getting all your thoughts down about a relationship you'll be able to take a step back and see all the things about it that made you unhappy.
Whenever you break up, people are bound to talk shit about you. Since there are two sides to every story, chances are people will begin to hear your ex's and it may not be flattering. The most important thing to remember is that when two people break up, they both probably feel raw about some things. Ignore what other people are saying about you, and forget how other people judge and assume about your previous relationship. At the end of the day, you know what went down between the two of you, and you know your own heart. Forget what the haters say.
You don't need a "revenge body," unless it means feeling your freakin' best. No need to diet or hit the gym more in order to make yourself feel better about being single. Instead, put on your favorite outfit. Take a few extra minutes to make sure your hair is perfect before you leave the house.
By making yourself feel your most confident, you'll begin to feel better about the idea of being single again. Plus, when you're an independent person, you don't need someone else to make yourself feel fabulous.
It is okay as long as you're not cruel about it! When you've been dumped, it is perfectly natural to be a little pissed. How could someone not want to be with you?!
Making fun of your ex will help you feel better about your heart being broken and will help point out aspects of your relationship that made the breakup occur in the first place. Maybe airing all your dirty laundry to your friends will help you realize you're better off without that person in your life.
After you've mourned the relationship as much as you possibly can in privacy, call up the squad. Watch crappy cartoons and all the movies that made you laugh as a child. Misery loves company and your squad loves you, so why wallow alone? Although it is important to mourn your relationship alone, eventually you will need a shoulder (or six) to cry on, and that is okay.
Together, we can all get through breakups and move onto things that are bigger and better, am I right or am I right?
Although you'll want to check to see if they're out at the club or sitting at home crying over you, you must resist the urge to stalk your ex on social media. Chances are they're just getting drunk with their friends too and crying, but what if you see something you don't want to see? As in, them out with someone new.
What would be even worse, though, is seeing that they're just as broken up about the relationship ending as you and you feel empathy for them. Yuck.