We would like to take this moment to say: take my money.
1. Steve Burns - Homicide Life on the Street
We all remember Steve from Blues Clues, the dopey guy who couldn't figure out the common link between a magic wand, magician's hat, and a carrot without the help of screaming 3-year-olds. So, it was totally bizarre to see him show up on an episode of Homicide Life on the Street as a nerdy student who shot his bully dead in cold blood. If I were him, I would've skidoo'd right out of that courtroom.
2. Jodie Sweetin - Pants Off Dance Off
Middle children never get enough attention. That must explain why Jodie Sweetin, Full House's Stephanie Tanner, decided in 2007 to host one of the most bizarre shows on cable TV, Pants Off Dance Off. That show consisted solely of people slowly stripping off all their clothes while a music video plays behind them. Go to your room, Steph. Danny Tanner would be so disappointed.
3. Alisa Reyes - Playboy Radio host
Alisa Reyes was more of a background character on All That, never having a breakout role. Now, she gets all the attention as (we kid you not) a host of Playboy Radio on Sirius XM. We expect her to tickle our ears with the erotic tales of Baggin' Saggin' Mary any day now.
4. Arthur Reggie III - Rapper
My Brother & Me might be most remembered on Nickelodeon for its flagrant use of laugh track on lines that could only charitably be referred to as "jokes." But it shocked us to find out that Alfie, the straight-laced lead, is now a Los Angeles-based rapper named ShowBizness! And for some unexplained reason, he has not recorded a cover version of "Goo Punch." You could be printing money, Alfie...
5. Danny Tamberelli - GTA V
You surely recall Little Pete from The Adventures of Pete & Pete. That scamp sure did annoy his parents by refusing to go to bed at bedtime! Well, you may also recognize his trademark raspy voice in GTA V, where he played Jimmy De Santa, an overweight, pot-smoking Internet troll who runs in with the wrong crowd. Little Pete's shenanigans don't seem so innocent anymore.
6. Jason David Frank - MMA fighter
The Power Rangers, while fighters, were ultimately harmless. There might be an exception, though, for the Green Ranger, Jason David Frank. He's now an MMA fighter, and won his debut match in under a minute through a terrifying move called the "rear naked choke submission." Dude, the power rangers are supposed to weakly karate chop, not choke people until they pass out!
7. Erik MacArthur - Paris Hilton Movie
You'll remember Erik MacArthur as Michael, the boring kid from Salute Your Shorts. (Before Pinsky showed up, he was supposed to be `the cute one,' though nobody really knows why.) Since then, Erik appeared in the movie Bottoms Up with Paris Hilton, which isn't all that notable until you see his character name: "Drunk Guy on Couch." You know, say what you want about his management style, but things didn't happen when Ug was in charge...
8. Dustin Diamond - Self-Released Explicit Tape
Somewhere after finishing up work on Saved by the Bell and its 27 spinoffs, Dustin Diamond decided it would be a great idea to release his own erotic home video. Thankfully, it was tastefully titled: Screeched - Saved by the Smell. Come on, Screech. Eww.
Joshua Sussman, the nerdy kid named Hugh Normous from Disney series Wizards of Waverly Place, has been acting pretty consistently since the show went off the air, most famously on Glee. One role, though, stuck out to us: as a pornography super-fan in the explicitly unrated indy film Starlet. Now I can't stop thinking of un-publishable double entendres for the name Hugh Normous and it's making me queasy.
10. Rachel Blanchard - Peep Show
Kristin was known as the squeamish member of the Are You Afraid of the Dark?, so it was a shock for us to see her baring all in the British TV series Peep Show. She played Nancy, the on-and-off girlfriend of Jeremy's. When the Midnight Society reconvenes, we expect to hear her tell us The Tale of the Misplaced Childhood.
11. Katrina Johnson - Playboy TV
What is with the cast of All That and working for Playboy?! Katrina Johnson, that girl who did the Ross Perot impressions, was a regular on the Playboy TV reality show King of Clubs. If this pattern continues, we should expect to see Hugh Hefner and Kel Mitchell working together any day now.