Fun fact: When you're inside government buildings and don't have a passport, a tattoo this awesome can be used to prove your citizenship.
Another fun fact: People on the Internet lie.
Why did he position this mural on his back? Because he's always in first place, so that's the only way anybody will be able to see it.
The fact that Captain America looks like he just ate a bag of White Castle cheeseburgers only adds to this work's appeal.
With that epic mustache, he'll never be able to keep his identity a secret. Thankfully, though, no villains dare bring it up, because dealing with Teddy Roosevelt is a way scarier proposition than dealing with Batman.
He's the only guy in his office who's required to never wear a shirt.
Hey, Russia. Your president rides a horse? Cute...
This man here embodies the American dream: the freedom to do whatever you want, while never bothering to ask yourself if you should.
If you look up the script for Rocky IV, in the spot where he gives the speech that ends communism, there's just a picture of this tattoo.
Tattoo by Sweet Laraine Tattoos.
The new national anthem was a rousing success in focus groups. Some people, though, found the fourteen-minute guitar solo excessive. They have since been deported to Canada.
We shouldn't rest on our laurels for World War III, though. It's going to take lots of training if we want to win that impending alien space battle and robot apocalypse.
Tattoo by Adrian Aldaco.
This tattoo has just become the frontrunner for the Republican nomination in 2016.
...That is to say, it's polling at six percent.
"Thanks for the statue, France. It looks great, but we decided there was room for a few improvements."
Made in America, huh? That must be why it's ripping so easily...
If you show this tattoo in person at any Denny's in America, you're entitled to all the free bacon you can eat.
Uh-oh. Looks like that World War III we were talking about just got itself a ringer. Man, those Martians are so going down...
Tattoo by Chris Krahn.