This Valentine's Day, Oreo will be releasing brand new, Limited Edition Red Velvet Oreos with cream cheese flavored creme. This might actually be pretty good, but the announcement prompted us to have a look at some of the wacky Oreo flavors that have been released in the past...
Ladies and gentlemen, has a photograph ever made you gag? Then welcome to the club. We have meetings every Tuesday night -- there's punch and cookies, but they're located on opposite sides of the room from each other...as far apart as possible.
Neopolitan ice cream features vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry. This cookie has three wafers (imagine trying to eat that -- psh) separating chocolate and vanilla creme -- the vanilla is colored pink. So basically, this cookie is a lie.
Every year, at Halloween, Brach's goes into the underground vault built in the 1880s to house all of the candy corn ever made, carries a bunch of it to the surface, and shoves it at the innocent people of the United States. With great trepidation, we purchase the candy, only to be consistently disappointed. This sad narrative is the one the Oreo people decided to remind us of with this terrible flavor.
These DQ Blizzard Oreos probably taste great, but let's break them down for a moment. A DQ Blizzard consists of ice cream with pieces of Oreo cookie in it. So an Oreo cookie that is DQ Blizzard flavored would be a regular Oreo cookie with "creme" that has Oreo cookie in it. This may be the most harmless Oreo flavor, but it is by far the most unnecessary.
Here's the deal: you can have an amazing birthday cake topped with classic, chocolatey, delicious Oreos, or you can have a sad cookie trying to replicate that flavor with a thin layer of sprinkled creme. Which would you prefer?
I doubt these Oreos capture the fizzy, creamy goodness of a real root beer float. Eating one of these will result in the same feeling you got when you learned Santa Claus wasn't real: disappointed, confused, but mostly entrenched in rage.
This may be an unpopular opinion, but cookie dough is called DOUGH for a reason. It's not for eating. It's for baking. If you put it in the oven, Oreo makers, itwill become cookies. We thought you of all people would know this.