Everyone's favorite elderly detective isn't just a one trick pony, she's also a workout queen. Follow along with Angela Lansbury as she teaches us moves that she "invented" such as "on-land swimming" and "rhythmic dance movements."
3. 'Spiral Fitness' With David Carradine
So, uh, David Carradine is basically trying to sell you on moving your limbs around wildly while holding on to a short length of hose. If you're into it, don't give these people your money; just go to Home Depot.
4. 'It's Simple, Darling' With Zsa Zsa Gabor
Watch as Zsa Zsa regales you with tales of her ex-husbands and half-heartedly exercises, while two clearly steroided-out beefcakes in leotards follow along and don't get any kind of workout whatsoever.
5. 'Step Up' With La Toya Jackson
Why you should be expected to trust the most unstable member of the Jackson family with your physical fitness is never explained, but make no mistake, La Toya's ridiculously large and unwieldy belt buckle is an essential piece of workout gear. Also, she openly acknowledges that she's only done the workout once before.
6. 'Maximum Potential' With Dolph Lundgren
Dolph Lundgren is a former Swedish marine, bodyguard, has a Master's degree in chemical engineering and a black belt in karate and once accidentally sent Sylvester Stallone to the hospital with a single punch to the heart. You should probably take his advice on fitness.
7. 'Shape Up' With Arnold Schwarzenegger
This video was filmed in the early '80s before Arnold had starred in the Terminator. As a result, he's actually kind of skinny compared to his usual appearance, which is bizarre. The best part is watching Arnold constantly compliment the female model while practically berating and taunting the male model every single time he lifts a weight.
8. 'O.J. Simpson Minimum Maintenance: Fitness For Men'
This video actually features footage of OJ Simpson on the golf course and also has him offering tips about what to do when you feel angry. OJ's solution is apparently to imagine a volcano erupting, releasing all of his stress and anger. Huh.
9. 'Young at Heart Body Conditioning With Estelle Getty'
This exercise program was designed by a French personal trainer named Rafael, whose accent is so thick that we have no idea what he's saying. Regardless, Estelle would like to thank him for being a friend.
10. 'Steel Stomachs' With Dirk Benedict
The A-Team's "Face Man" wants to tone your stomach. He plans to do this in an empty room by getting shirtless, wearing short-shorts with knee socks and using a royalty-free sound alike version of the A-Team theme.
11. 'Take Time' With Pat Boone
This is what I imagine it would be like if Mr. Rogers hosted a workout tape. It's chock full of soothing piano, corny jokes and Pat Boone being the liveliest person in the room. It's an absolute pleasure to watch.
If you'd like to learn how to throw incredibly slow and choreographed punches and kicks, the Lorenzo Lamas Automatic Self Defense Workout is perfect for you! Unfortunately, the video offers no tips on how to get your very own glorious feathered mullet.
Milton Berle spends most of this video making fun of the seniors he's supposed to be helping work out, then dresses like Richard Simmons and a horrifying drag imitation of Jane Fonda while taking a shot at Ted Turner. High comedy indeed.
14. 'Shape Up' With Sid Caesar
Sid Caesar is a comedy legend and apparently an exercise legend as well. Dude was 62 years-old in this exercise tape and he's absolutely jacked. In fact, he's so jacked that he feels the need to walk around in a Speedo toward the end for no reason at all. Enjoy.
15. 'Do It Debbie's Way' With Debbie Reynolds
This unfortunately titled tape makes it sound like an adult video, but instead it's full of tap dancing, head bands and jazz hands. It's actually exactly what you'd expect from one of the leads ofSingin' in the Rain,so no complaints here. You go, Debbie!
16. 'Silver Foxes' With Celebrity Parents
It takes a lot of work to give birth to pretty, talented and famous people. To do it, you have to be in great shape. So who better to show you how to work out than Quentin Tarantino's dad or Sylvester Stallone's mom? Get in shape and pump out some stars!
17. 'The Marky Mark Workout: Form, Focus, Fitness'
Mark Wahlberg never stops looking down the other model's shirt at any point during this tape. That's one way to keep your eyes on the prize, I guess.
18. 'Cher Fitness: a New Attitude'
Cher's outfit appears to be a prototype from the "If I Could Turn Back Time" video. Which means it's not at all practical for working out, but hey, Cher can do whatever she wants.
19. 'Fitness Walking' With Sally Struthers
This video appears to be a serious version of that episode of Malcolm in the Middlewhere Hal becomes a power walker, complete with gratuitous closeups of everyone's hips and quads. Stick to feeding the hungry, Sally.
20. 'Fabio Fitness'
This video neglects the most important part of Fabio's fitness routine: his diet. Fabio consumes 9 tubs of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" a day to keep up his formidable physique.
21. 'The Winning Workout' With Bruce Jenner
Back in 1984, Bruce Jenner (now known as the lovely Caitlyn Jenner) was also a part of the celebrity workout video craze. Of all the tapes out there though, this one actually seems pretty good. Jenner was an Olympic gold medalist and decathlete, so the advice presented here is actually pretty sound, if a little bit cheesy and super '80s. Frankly, it seems like it's only a matter of time until some of the family sees this tape and we get Krossfitting with the Kardashians.