Hello, AAA? I need a tow truck and also a forklift.
This way to 32 Ave N. Just kidding, this way to DEATH!
Good luck getting home in one piece. File this under "Excuses to just stay inside, where it's safe."
If I look at it straight in the eye, am I immediately transported to the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland? Please say yes.
Don't worry, the full video shows people safely getting out of the car. But it doesn't show them inevitably on hold with their insurance company.
Is he...is that...you know what, never mind. I'll just take the subway, which is somehow less terrifying than all of this.
That person who thinks it's totally acceptable to be in a completely wrong lane? They're responsible for maneuvering a metal machine that weighs 2 tons.
When I'm sleep deprived, I can't even spell my name right. Let alone drive a vehicle with no rearview mirror.
Who planned this road? No really, who? This liquor cabinet isn't going to stock itself.
"Stop, drop and roll" doesn't exactly work if you're in a moving vehicle. Moral of the story: Never enter a moving vehicle ever again. Looks like it's just you and me again, blanket.
Visibility? Who needs that?
This is how vampires drive in the daylight.
Forget texting while driving. Band practice: It can wait.
Revelations was actually slightly mistranslated. Instead of the Four Horsemen, it's 400 horsepower.
Who needs a seatbelt when you have an unstable moving mattress?
Everyone. Everyone needs a seatbelt.
There are no words. Only screams. My screams. That's enough Internet for one day, Eileen.