Planning a wedding can obviously be stressful. It's supposed to be the most wonderful day of your life and you want it to be perfect, no matter how simple or elaborate it may be. But being stressed out isn't an excuse to let your most horrible tendencies come out.
Mallory Ortberg is an online advice columnist. Also known as "Dear Prudence," she is usually happy to listen to writers' and callers' queries and give her two cents. Recently, she received a letter from a woman that left her and countless others flabbergasted.
It seems like it will be a happy tale, but then things start to veer off course:
"My daughter recently got engaged to her fiancé and announced that Katie would be the maid of honor (Katie’s boyfriend is also a good friend of my future son-in-law). The problem is that Katie walks with a pretty severe limp due to a birth defect (not an underlying medical issue)."
And let's not gloss over the fact the mother is trying to control the wedding of a daughter she isn't even that close to. That is a loaded sentence if I've ever seen one. But back to the task at hand. The mother asked a question, and, oh boy, did she get a response.
"I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around this letter. I encourage you to reread it and to ask yourself that time-honored question, “Do I sound like a villain in a Reese Witherspoon movie?” You are, presumably, sympathetic to your own situation and are invested in making sure that you come across as reasonable and as caring as possible, and yet you have written a letter indicting yourself at every turn."
Ortberg could have ended it there and the mother would have been forced to live the rest of her life in exile due to the shame. But she wasn't finished:
"This girl is 'like a daughter' to you, and yet you want to shove her to the side of your other daughter’s wedding just because she walks with a limp. Your daughter’s weddingwillbe perfect with Katie as a full and honored member of the bridal party. A limp is not a fly in the ointment; it’s a part of Katie’s life."
"It is not only wrong to have asked your daughter to consider excluding her best friend over this—it is ableist, and cruel, and it speaks to a massive failure of empathy, compassion and grace on your part. You must and should apologize to your daughter immediately, and I encourage you to profoundly reconsider the orientation of your heart."
And with that, Dear Prudence had spoken. Let this be a lesson to any potential wedding interlopers: just sit down, be quiet and enjoy the cake.