Are you awake? Then it's time for beer. That's German logic for you.
Only in Germany can you get a beer with a Big Mac. No word on if the beer is as terrible as the rest of their food.
This is a real photo taken in a German elevator. Apparently, they don't mess around with floor elevation.
There's a contest every year in Germany where people carve out pumpkins into boats and race down the river. Because, of course.
I have no idea what kind of contest this is, but it definitely takes place in Germany. I also now want to move to Germany immediately.
In Europe, they don't call it foosball, they call it table football. Also, like all things German, they're super serious about it.
Bartender: Ma'am, we're cutting you off.
Drunk woman: "I just want wasser, give me all your wasser.
Bartender: Ma'am, please find and put your pants back on.
Curry, sausage, beer and a bunch of other historical things I don't really know about = Germany. Energy drinks? Add some curry and call it German.
Who needs water or sports drinks when you have beer? Silly little wimps, that's who! NOT Germans.
If there's one thing Germans love, it's their David Hasselhoff memorabilia. He's like America's Chuck Norris.
Germans can take something as simple as sightseeing and turn it into a drinking experience. And that's why I love Germans.
When you're in Germany, you often find yourself asking, "Why not?"
Want a beer in the middle of the day? Why not!
Want to drink beer out of a fake penis? Why not...
Woman: I finally figured out what I want my license plate to say.
Bartender: Ma'am, why do you have a car door attached to your purse?
Woman: It got in my way. Unrelated, have you seen my pants?
In Germany, there are crosswalks where you can play Pong while you wait to cross the street. Why are we all not living in Germany yet?
Germans don't have time to waste with soda and candies. They need their sausage and they need it now, people!
This is what chocolate looks like in Germany. Even German chocolate is hardcore.
Sure, you may have opened a beer or two, but you've never opened an entire case of beers. That is, of course, unless you're German.
Why? How do YOU deal with pesky speed traps on your daily commute?
I'm not saying Germans like their beer, but I'm not not saying they like their beer. Okay, I'm now saying that Germans like beer. OKAY?
Woman: One way ticket to Germany, please.
Bartender: Ma'am, this is a bar and please, for the love of God, put on some pants.