Aside from mustache glitter, this is one way to show off sparkly whiskers. But we still highly encourage mustache glitter.
Now you can say, "It's fancy top hat and mustache time!" and no one can argue with you.
Buy it here.
If you've ever wanted to be hugged by a bunch of tiny mustaches (and we know you have), then this is for you!
They call him Detective Diapers. He'll sniff out the stink anywhere and everywhere.
Use these to make mustache-shaped cookies! Or to create a border for your face for a perfectly trimmed mustache.
"With this ring, I thee invite to a vegan beer festival."
For those who don't have the facial hair to remain warm in the cold winter months.
This mustache man is either a cop from an '80s TV show or a bicycle-riding, plaid-wearing Portland resident. Two opposite sides of a very weird spectrum.
This is much preferred to lighting your own real mustache on fire.
Now all you need are two eyeball clips and a nose clip! Maybe one eyeball clip and one monocle clip if you want to get fancy.
Stick these in a mason jar to slurp up your cold-pressed beet-ginger juice and take comfort in the fact that you have reached the pinnacle of hipsterdom.
Pair these with a pipe, a velvet jacket and an actual, perfectly waxed 'stache, and you, my friend, have won the world.
Look cool and get drunk at the same time? That's my middle name.
These are great when used to fulfill the all-important wrist-mustache quota. You know that as many parts of your body as possible should be covered in mustaches.
Because your family size Tostitos bag could use a little sophistication.