Remember, no matter what, someone is ALWAYS having a worse day than you. Especially on Mondays (cc @Garfield).
Hopefully this person's insurance covers paint spills. How are you going to make a happy little tree out of this one, Bob Ross?!
On second thought, I'll take spilled paint on a car any day. It'll attract way fewer flies.
"You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take." —Wayne Gretzky
"Whoa, that sucks bro." —Me, right now.
Her perfume was called, "Eau de Fire Hydrant." In retrospect, not the best idea.
Self-driving cars can't get here soon enough. The same goes for self-drying tears.
AND it's snowing!?! Reason #534853497439854987 why you should never go outside.
Eating ice cream straight off the car floor after a breakup is the MOST depressing.
At least it was the last thing on his bucket list. Glass half full?
We are all that squirrel, and that squirrel is all of us. #deep