Tomcats like this creep are what gives cat Tinder a bad name. I mean, we get it, it's mating season, but we'd much appreciate a little more subtlety and patience. At least buy a girl a glass of milk first, jeez.
This guy smells like trouble. He's as aloof as a cat can get and has a wild temper. Don't bring him 'round your human's house unless you want to be punished for knocking over their favorite antique vase. What a d**k, but, my God, is he sexy.
This cool cat is super original, just like all of his other hipster kitty friends. If you're going to date him, you'd better be prepared to sleep in his ironically rusty vintage cat bed and pay through the teeth for your gluten free, organic, free range dinner date. He's not picking up the bill because, well, he's a cat.
Girls are confusing AF and as a female cat I am able to admit this. Sometimes we want to be sexy, but that doesn't mean we don't demand respect. It's a delicate balance and you must know exactly how to handle it or you will feel our wrath (AKA being bopped on the head and hissed at).
There's always one heartbreakingly adorable elderly cat on cat Tinder who reminds us of how cold the world has become. The saddest part is that he's probably not going to find what he's looking for because most cats his age don't know what a smartphone even is.
Just looking at this guy's pictures makes us want to take a nap. We get it, you travel the neighborhood and fling yourself off of stuff while we sit and eat cat treats on the couch. Well done you, now pass us the kibble.
This chick just loves a good time and hates a Debbie downer (like her owner, boring old Joan). She will prod you in the face and bat the window blinds until you give in and race around the house with her. Talk about turnt up!
All her friends are either married or have kittens and she just has a string of failed relationships and broken dreams to her name. This had better change ASAP or she will have an actual breakdown. She also has a checklist of qualities she's looking for...which has grown every year she's remained single. Good luck, boys.
If you date this dude you're in for a whole lot of patronizing lectures on philosophy and the meaning of life. Ask him a simple question like, "Do you like cheese?" and you are opening the floodgates to his musings on the dairy industry and the feline body's natural intolerance for lactose. Have fun with that, ladies.
This cat will not let you forget how stacked and mega strong he is. He can jump up to the highest countertop and could take down a medium-sized dog... If he ever had to. Sadly he can't do much else though, as he has the brainpower of a potato.
Get ready for the most exhausting date of your life. This crazy cat prides himself on making a joke every 15 seconds until he has you rolling on the floor (he doesn't realize it's in exasperation). Somebody hide the catnip, as he needs to chill the F out.
She doesn't need you, OK, did you get that? She is fiercely independent and will be on high alert for any misogynistic or patronizing behavior. She just doesn't have time for it. She really doesn't, OK? OK, good.
Some cats just let their riches talk for them. Who needs flattery or conversation when you have wads of kitty cash, am I right? Ladies, walk on by unless you want to be treated like a braindead trophy. Gross.
Occasionally when we swipe we come across a "cat" who is blatantly actually a kitten trying to run before he can walk. He thinks he's a smooth talking player, but that doesn't change the fact he looks about 3 weeks old. Busted.
They'll probably never actually meet up with you as their social anxiety will hold them back. They doesn't much leave their safe zone (box in the back of the closet), so you're in for months of pointless back and forth with no result. What a waste.