A Festivus for the rest of us, Festivus reminds us Christmas has been terribly watered down by commercialization, and we've forgotten the true familial roots of the holiday. And any good familial roots come along with baggage, which is why our favorite part of Festivus will always be "the airing of grievances."
Another holiday spawned from not wanting to play Secret Santa, Merlinpeen is also known as the Verdukian Holiday of Mouth Pleasures. Celebrants eat large amounts of meat, preferably on a pizza, and are known to request to have their teeth flossed by a blonde virgin. Maybe we'll skip that part of the celebration, though””it's way more gross than...sexual? Whatever they thought it was. But we respect their views as Verdukians.
We'll celebrate any holiday with a chant and a dance, and the rest of freedom day is pretty great, too. An amped up, over the top 4th of July type holiday, explained by Amy, on Freedom Day, "If you wanna do something, you do it, and to spleck with the consequences." Also, there seems to be mandatory nude group hottubbing. As with Fry, that's all we needed to hear. We're in.
We humans have plenty of celebrations of gluttony, but this Melmac holiday takes the cat-filled cake. On Fappiano, you wake up, and you eat. All day long. Nonstop. When you're done eating, you open some presents then you go back to sleep. Many people love the holidays for the food and presents, so why not just be honest about what it is we're celebrating? Just go easy on the cats.
Flaming Moe's Day, celebrated the same day as Veteran's Day (it can be two things), commemorates the creation of Springfield's favorite alcoholic beverage (that episode). Presumably a simple holiday held in remembrance of a great drink, we'd also like to imagine that celebrants drink overwhelming amounts of itand listen to large amounts of Aerosmith.
Slapsgiving isn't a singular day, necessarily, but an entire series of holidays, to be slapped out whenever deemed appropriate over the series of a year. So maybe we should just make a holy day for The Making of Slap Bets, and let the holiday play itself out year round.
The inhabitants of Albonquetine can't quite remember who Lady Hewitt-Smythe was, but she was a person who did a thing, so she has a day now. But it doesn't really matter who she was, for on her day, the children play "The Big Game." And the big game is croquette on top of elephants. Sounds a heck of a lot more fun than the Hunger Games, at least.
8. The Kongo Bongo Festival of Lights (`Donkey Kong Country')
The one thing Christmas has always been missing is fireworks. Residents of Kongo Bongo Island give out gifts to their loved ones and eat plenty of bananas, just like us humans do on our holy days. They spend time with their families and reminisce. And then they blow some stuff up. It's amazing certain parts of America haven't adapted this yet.
9. Low Tides Day (`The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack')
On Low Tides Day, Poseidon gives presents to the good residents Stormalong. The bad residents are attacked, shoved into a sack and beaten by six to eight mermen. As horrible a fate as that sounds, it's what earned this spot on the list””so many holidays focus on the good stuff, while few creative clever punishments for the bad kids. Of course, there are no punishments at the end of the episode, but it's the creativity that counts.
In Dinosaurs, Refrigerator Day celebrates the invention of the refrigerator because it was what allowed dinosaurs to stop being savage wanderers, and instead keep their food at one location, forming homes and families. We just really like food, and think refrigerators should be celebrated as the sources of food they so reliably are.
11. Chrimbus (`Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job!')
Plenty of fake holidays are just Christmas adapted to fit a fictional universe. There's usually some kind of subtlety about it, but not so with Chrimbus. Chrimbus is simply Christmas only even louder, more colorful, weirdly gross, less about religionand extremely sexualized. Kids don't wait for Santa to leave presents by the tree; instead Winterman leaves gifts inside trimmed bushes. Actually, looking at Winterman...maybe we don't want to celebrate this one. But we will take a copy of the Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job!Chrimbus Special on DVD!
12. The Bikini Bottom Annual Free Day (`SpongeBob SquarePants')
It kind of goes without saying that we would enjoy a holiday where everything was free. Sure, it would end up a bit more like the Purge than a festive event, with business owners desperately trying to prevent themselves from losing all of their business overnight once a year. But to the consumer, it sounds like one heck of a great idea, doesn't it?
The appeal of Leap Day is the incredible pageantry that goes along with its absurd premise. Also, Leap Dave William gives children candy in exchange for their tears, which sounds nice if you don't think about it too hard. The fact the legendary Leap Dave William also has gills and is possibly a vampire only add to the mythos of this little explored holiday.
Bobunk is the famous holiday that could have been. Salem the Cat accidentally erased it from history, but that shouldn't stop us from celebrating! The details are a little fuzzy, but Bobunk essentially seems to be a celebration of all things alcohol and feline. It's pretty obvious a magic spell erased the holiday from history; otherwise it would be the basis of every meme ever.
Treat Yo Self Day is the best day of the year. And that's because it's whatever you personally want it to be. Spa day? Treat yo self. Fine dining? Treat yo self. Netflix and beer? Treat yo self. Batman costume? Err...you know what, yeah, treat yo self. Tom and Donna never judge themselves for their extravagant purchases, and on Treat Yo Self Day, you aren't allowed to judge yourself either. You're only allowed to do one thing: Treat. Yo. Self.