Adélie penguins are so perverse that there's research about them that was hidden from the public for 100 years for being too "shocking." Male Adélie penguins were spotted slapping females and even trying to mate with week-old dead female carcasses. Eeeek. Suddenly, Socially Awkward Penguin seems a lot more...sociable.
Dolphins are adorable, majestic and...murderers. Dolphins near Scotland were seen brutally murdering porpoises. To be clear, porpoises aren't part of a dolphin's diet, nor do they compete for the same food sources. Why, dolphin, why?!
Let's say you're a male lion. There's a female lion that you really want to mate with, but she already has a cub (dang!). Instead of doing the NON a-hole thing (like, I don't know, moving on with your life), real male lions are a-holes. They'll maul the cub to death so that they can mate. And I thought Mufasa's death was "scar"ring.
Instead of building her own dang nest, the female cuckoo will go into another bird's nest to lay her eggs. The nest owner will assume that any baby that's in her nest is her child and feed it like it's one of her own. Birds aren't that smart, okay?!
We all have types. Some dudes like blondes, some brunettes. Or, if you're a giraffe, you'll go for someone who's definitely ovulating RIGHT NOW. How does a male giraffe know? Well, first he headbutts a female's behind, stimulating her bladder. When she pees, he tastes it to determine if she's ovulating or not. Ah, romance.
Yeah, you thought we were done talking about what big a-holes dolphins are, didn't you? Well, if porpicide wasn't enough to convince you, how about this: Dolphins have been known to force themselves on other dolphins AND have even attempted to force themselves on human swimmers. Reason #431,504,302,843,509 for me to never go outside.
11. The Margay Will Tug At The Heartsrings, Then It STRIKES
This is a margay, AKA a tree ocelot, AKA an adorable cat. Cats are predators (that's a fact of life), but the way these guys catch their prey just doesn't seem fair. Margays are really good at mimicking sounds and can mimic the sound of a distressed baby monkey. When an adult monkey comes to the rescue, the margay attacks and feasts. All I'm saying is that you don't see Dana Carvey doing an impression of a tiny sandwich in order to eat a bigger sandwich.
12. Seriously, Don't Let An Otter's Cute Exterior Fool You
A female sand tiger shark can get impregnated by multiple males at once. When the fetuses are old enough, they'll eat each other in utero until only one — the strongest — remains. Also, female sand tiger sharks have two uteruses, which means that this weird episode of Game of Thrones happens twice so that two sharks are born.