Okay, here’s a harsh reality: dating sucks. Like, it really sucks. Your mom keeps pressuring you to meet a nice special someone and give her five grandkids, while at the same time all of your friends around you are getting married and asking why you’re still single. So what do you do? You get on those dating apps and perhaps you’ll go on some dates to try to meet your soulmate.
The truth is that dating is still going to suck, but here are some tips to make it suck just a teeny bit less.
This one always seems like a no-brainer, but it’s pretty shocking how many people still just don’t really get it. There’s nothing that says “meh, I don’t care about what you’re saying” more than pulling out your phone mid-conversation. Unless you’re specifically looking up some photos of your cat to show your date, just put the phone down and out of site for a couple hours, dammit!
Have you ever been on a date and your date is so nervous that they just continuously ask you questions about yourself, and deflect any questions you ask them? Don’t be afraid to talk about yourself some! The point of dating is to get to know each other - it’s not a job interview! And if it is, then that’s really weird!
As a rule of thumb, it’s generally fine to talk about an ex on a date if they’re relevant to a story you’re telling. What’s not fine, however, is bringing up your exes in every other sentence. Trust me, your date doesn’t want to hear about them. Please, don’t pull a Taylor Swift.
A lot of times we go into dating thinking, he/she would be perfect if not for X. And then we go about our lives thinking about how we can change them to suit our needs. Unfortunately, chances are that they aren’t going to change just because you want them to, and you may need to move on.
Disclaimer: If your partner’s flaw in question is that they constantly leave old food out everywhere, then by all means, tell them to knock it off ‘cause that’s just gross.
It’s time for a little tough love: if your date is texting you back, but very slowly and they’re not really making any attempts to hang out with you again, then they’re not really feeling it. When you’re really into someone, it can be easy to fall into that “Well, maybe they’re just…” mindset and make excuses for why they’re being weird. If your date is into you, they’ll most likely be excited about making plans with you again.
This is probably going to go against everything that your friends have ever told you, but just hear me out: It’s okay to have high standards. Dating someone just because they’re the only one available at the time isn’t going to make you happy in the long run. It’s better to hold out for someone who truly makes you happy, rather than dating someone just to be in a relationship.
If you’ve been single for a while, then it can be easy to get stuck in that woe-is-me mindset. Especially when everyone around you is getting engaged. Cut that out, ‘cause you’re rad and you don’t need another person to complete you!
This one shouldn’t even have to be on this list, but people are still doing it, so here goes. Unless you actually got into a really bad scuba diving accident and broke both of your thumbs, just tell the person you’re not into them.
It’s okay...you’ve done it, I’ve done it. Let’s just all admit that and move past it.
Sometimes (a lot of times even) first dates are terrible. Your date was likely nervous, and you were probably a little bit nervous yourself. They may have cracked a couple stupid jokes that weren’t even remotely funny, or perhaps there were a couple awkward silences. It might be tempting to move on, but who knows, you may have just missed your opportunity with a great person because of some first-date jitters!
If you’re of college age or older then it’s generally pretty safe to assume that the new person you’re seeing isn’t being exclusive with you. Until you’ve had the official exclusivity talk with them, that is. If you’re ready to make things exclusive, then always talk to them about it first!
This one is for the ladies seeking out men: dudes get shy sometimes too! Couple that with the fact that men are usually expected to make the first move - that’s a lot of pressure to put on someone. If you see an attractive someone at the bar sitting by himself, don’t be afraid to just go up and chat. Even if you get rejected, he’ll probably be incredibly flattered that you had the guts to make the first move!
Despite what your parents say about it, online dating is the present and future of dating. It can be pretty tough to meet someone organically, especially if you’re a career-oriented person who tends to be around the same people every day. And think about it this way: if you both swipe right on each other, it means that you’re both at least somewhat interested in each other, which should give you some peace of mind, right? And if you’re still skeptical, don’t knock it till you try it!
Rejection is just a part of life. In dating, job applications, you name it...it’s everywhere! Think of it this way: just because you got rejected by the last job you applied to, doesn’t mean you’re going to give up altogether on applying to jobs, does it?
(Hopefully the answer is no, because otherwise how are you paying your rent…)
And what I mean by that is, being in a relationship can be great and all, but it’s totally okay to be single too! We all have that friend who can’t go more than five minutes without being in a relationship - you really don’t need another person to be happy. If you spend some time to focus on yourself while you’re single, chances are, you’ll feel even more fulfilled when you’re in a relationship.