City Council Declares Sriracha Smell A Public Nuisance

The city council of Irwindale, California has had enough of the Sriracha odor emitting from the nearby production plants and has officially declared the spicy aroma a public nuisance. 

Many local residents and plant employees are enraged by this "public nuisance" declaration and have even took to protesting city council meetings and votes. 

Instead of taking the steps to work with Huy Fong Foods, the owners & operators of the plant, city council has taken steps to hopefully shut down the production of Sriracha in their town for good. 

Now, my only question is... 

Can they do the same for Subway restaurants? 

(And I use the term `restaurants' loosely "“ like "Ke$ha after some Molly & Wine Coolers" loose...) 

Honestly, am I the only one who becomes immediately nauseated by the foul, stale odor that emits from every Subway restaurant? 

It's like being in a hot locker room, surrounded moldy tube socks that were soaked in the sweat of an obese Frenchman...with a dash of rancid mayonnaise. 

It's disgusting. 

Not to mention their bread is basically a yoga mat. 

When they give me my order, I don't know whether to eat it or hop into the downward-facing dog position. 

Either way, it's gonna make me f*rt uncontrollably. 

But, with every stance taken there's always an opposing side. I'm sure if we even got close to shutting down Subway establishments due to their rank stench, there would be a line of carb-counters around the block fighting to keep their 5 dollar foot longs alive. 

And I'm sure they would be led by none other than Mr. I-Hold-My-Fat-Pants-Up-Next-To-Me-And-Smile-For-Money, Jared Fogle. 

It wouldn't be easy taking down a sub-sandwich kingpin like Jared. But with God and a diligent city council by my side "“ there's nothing we can't defeat! 

Sadly, this whole Subway-endeavor remains a pipe dream until I get the proper amount of signatures "“ but believe you me, when I do, it's going DOWN faster than Ke$ha after some Peyote & Capri Suns! 

For a look into the possible Sriracha banishment, check out the video above.
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