All the machines you use are taken so you stride confidently towards the only free one. It looks like a medieval instrument of torture. You try desperately to look like you know what you're doing, but you get so tangled up that a member of the gym staff has to come and free you. Smooth.
Sometimes you forget for a split second that you resemble a hobo caught in a rain storm and attempt a cheeky bit of flirting. You scare them. You look in the mirror. Though disappointed, you understand.
Exercising makes us bored and hungry, so it's expected that our minds drift to what's for dinner tonight. Unfortunately, we feel like we deserve a treat 'cause we worked out... Which sends us right back to the gym in the morning to burn it off. Ugh, when will we learn?
Lifting heavy weights is super awkward in public as we are basically displaying our sex face to a bunch of strangers. But the noises are worse. Grunting and groaning, especially when you're next to someone making it look easy is so embarrassing that we'd rather just keep our spaghetti arms.
All the lunging and stretching can only cause one thing...a butt-slicing wedgie. And you're in a busy gym with mirrored walls, so there is literally no way of subtly pulling it out. So, you begrudgingly accept that this is your life now.
When you're exhausted, sweaty and gasping for air, what is the last thing you want? A conversation with someone. We don't care about your weekend, Mr. Trainer, or how to get the most out of the treadmill. We just want to suffer in peace!
10. How Soon Is Too Soon To Get The Hell Out Of Here?
Sometimes you get to the gym and you're just not feeling it. But you know the receptionist saw you walk in, like, 20 minutes ago, so there's no way you can leave without being outed as lazy. So you spend 20 more minutes wandering around, sitting on the toilet and drinking overpriced juice until you can finally leave, judgement-free.