Nine patties. Nine slices of cheese. You know, one for each inning! You better hope they don't go into extra innings though, because they WILL add patties as the game progresses. (Okay, no they won't, but a gal can dream.)
The Boomstick has been a staple at the stadium of the Texas Rangers for a while. It's a two-foot-long hot dog topped with chili, nacho cheese, grilled onions and jalapeños. They kicked it up a notch with the Totally Rossome Boomstick, which is the twenty-four inch dog topped with smoked brisket, pico de gallo, nacho cheese, sour cream and nacho cheese flavored Doritos.
This $19 Bloody Mary comes with a cold slice of pepperoni pizza, a beef stick, cheese cubes, pepperoncini, olive, celery, pickle and a Bud Light Beer Back. Turns out "hair of the dog" sometimes means the hair, the appetizer, the dinner and the drink.
Do you sit at home dreaming up ways to make nachos easier to eat? Then this crazy dish is for you. Beef and refried beans are rolled in Doritos and deep fried, then topped with sour cream and nacho cheese and presto! You've got the most disgusting nugget of food ever assembled. We bet it's delicious.
Ballparks are famous for serving food in helmets, but they're usually small helmet bowls that fit in the palm of your hand, not actual-size batting helmets. This giant banana split includes twelve scoops of ice cream (four each of chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry), bananas, cherries, whipped cream and a helmet you can wear if you finish.
The D-Bat Dog is an 18-inch corn dog or a baseball bat, depending on which way you look at it. It doesn't end there, though. The foot-and-a-half long fried dog is stuffed with cheddar cheese, bacon and jalapeños to make sure that when you get a heart attack while eating this, it's a really big one.
Yogurt parfaits are officially over. The Brewers have taken the culinary world by storm with their pulled pork parfait: a layered mix of pulled pork and mashed potatoes. It's a dinner in dessert form, and we have no problem with that.
The Choomongous is a two foot long sandwich, because of course it is. It's a Korean BBQ sandwich topped with spicy slaw and Sriracha mayo, and it was named for Texas Rangers outfielder Shin-Soo Choo (not to mention the amount of chewing you'll be doing when you sit down to eat it).
The Houston Astros' greatest accomplishment is redefining chicken and waffles with this dish right here. It's comprised of mashed potatoes, popcorn chicken, and drizzled honey mustard piled into a waffle cone. What does the law say as far as ballpark foods adopting adults as their legal children? Because, oh mama.
The Arizona Diamondbacks recently added Churro Dogs to the stadium menu, and now for the first time ever, people are choosing to visit Arizona. This sugar rush of a dessert includes a cinnamon churro "dog" in a chocolate donut bun. It's then topped with frozen yogurt (which means it's healthy), whipped cream and caramel and chocolate sauces.
Is this the worst thing you've ever heard, or the worst thing you've ever heard? Once again, Texas comes out on top in pure ridiculousness. The cotton candy is available at their "Just Bacon" concessions stand that also offers such bacon-y treats as candied bacon, bacon lollipops and bacon quesadillas. BACON.
Brunch combines breakfast and lunch. It has been unfairly categorized as breakfast food you eat later in the day. A true brunch meal combines both breakfast and lunch into one meal, like this, the Brunch Burger, courtesy of the Pittsburgh Pirates. You've got a burger, bacon, cheese and a fried egg. Sounds like lunch to me. Good thing they serve it between halves of a sprinkled glazed donut. BOOM. Brunch.
Like the pulled pork parfait, this dish transcends dinner/dessert boundaries like that's its job. This sausage sundae consists of smoked sausage, mashed potatoes, brisket and mac and cheese. The disgustingly delicious combo even has a cherry on top””a red cherry pepper, that is.
The Baltimore Orioles know how to clog some arteries. The Walk Off is a giant sausage wrapped in a pretzel roll and covered in crab dip. It requires that giant knife, lots of napkins and an empty stomach.
S'mores and bacon seem to both be having moments. So it was a stroke of genius to combine the two. Citi Field, home of the New York Mets, offers this delectable treat: bacon covered in chocolate, rolled in graham cracker and topped with marshmallows. There's one reason to go to a Mets game! If only there were others...
Hot dogs have seen a lot of toppings in their days at the stadiums, but pierogies is a new one. This long dog is topped with coleslaw, fried onion straws and, that's right, mini potato pierogies, adding a Polish flair to this traditional ballpark fare.
If you can fry it, Texans will fry it. And that's why we love 'em! They've fried corn on the cob just like chicken, which is genius and we'd like to line up the entire, well, lineup, of the Texas Rangers and shake their hands individually.
This dish is a total bullseye. It's a bratwurst, stuffed with a hot dog, wrapped in bacon. Served up on a pretzel bun with sauerkraut, caramelized onions and peppers, this baby will have you screaming, "Home run!" even if no one hit a home run and people will totally stare you down. Worth it.
This triple decker grilled cheese earned its name, because there's no way you're doing anything after downing this baby. It's made with nine cheeses. NINE. Provolone, mozz, Parm, gouda, cheddar, pepper jack, Swiss, blue and feta. They're organized in three tiers, and other toppings include candied bacon (because duh), Granny Smith apple and leek compote. You know, it may be a ballpark monstrosity, but that doesn't mean it can't be fancy.
20. Cali Dog South - Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
The Angels bring a Tex Mex flair to their hot dogs in Anaheim. These dogs are wrapped in a tortilla, fried, and served with avocado cream, lettuce and pico. You can also get it smothered in chili and cheese, if you want to feel even worse about yourself.
Even dessert is deep fried in Texas. Let me lay this out for you. Two deep fried Oreos surround a marshmallow with a graham cracker crust. This triple threat is then drizzled with chocolate sauce and covered in Cool Whip. Skewer your taste buds with this sweet dish.
23. Blue Moon Creamsicle Milkshake - Minnesota Twins
What goes better together than beer and baseball...and ice cream and liqueurs, and who cares what else?! Answer: nothing. This is a dream in a cup. Other flavors include Key Lime Beer Shake and Young's Double Chocolate Beer Shake.
The Taco Dog is exactly what it sounds like. A hot dog in a hard taco shell, in a hot dog bun. Then all the taco fixings, meat, lettuce, pico de gallo, and cheese go on top. Why have one meal when you can have two meals? The answer is don't. Definitely have two meals.
It's an ice cream sandwich, except instead of ice cream it's creamy, rich frozen custard, and instead of a sad chocolate wafer it's a freaking donut. This one features pretzels, chocolate sauce and caramel, but they also offer a PB&J variety, with real life peanut butter and jelly on the sandwich, in addition to the custard.