The guy obviously has no clue how to play the trombone. He's not holding it right. Hell, he's not even playing it! And yet she's grooving along like he's a virtuoso. This might be the first case of tobacco companies lying to us and, frankly, I am shocked.
And here comes the uppercut for the ridiculousness knockout! Now they've added "rich" to the equation. Because sure, thin is important, but thin and rich? That is crucial. You know what also is crucial? Not developing emphysema.
Marlboro Exec: "Yeah, sales are good, but can I be frank? It's taking way too long to kill off our customers. Now, I'm just spitballing here, but how about instead of giving each and every single person cancer, let's just give the actual planet Earth cancer! We'll streamline our productivity by forty percent. Boom goes the dynamite!"
No one should be smoking (ever), but if you are knowingly not inhaling when you smoke, then why are you smoking in the first place? That's kind of the whole point of smoking. Stop being a poser, toss the cig away and eat a carrot. Or a cookie. Yeah, definitely a cookie.
I have just decided that I am now Guff's official "medical specialist." No, I'm not a doctor. I am a "medical specialist." And as a "medical specialist" I have observed that spending an hour or more per day on our website has been known to improve vision, remove cellulite, and gives you the ability to fly. That is my "medical" opinion.
Normally, dogs doing anything even remotely human is adorable. In this case, not so much. Shame on you, Old Gold. And shame on you for putting these two in those awful-looking dog collars. That may be the true crime here.
Because trying to pull a cigarette out of a regular pack is so taxing. (Probably because your lungs are shriveled and black.) Now you can get to your cancer sticks quicker and easier. Science is amazing!