"We the people of the United States...are ready to break for lunch already!"
George Washington may be the father of the country, but HIS father was actually Darth Vader.
But he is guilty of not knowing the shortest way to say "87 years ago."
If an eagle is ill, hunting it just seems cruel.
Being on the twenty-dollar bill is like ABC, easy as 1, 2, 3.
This song is okay, but I prefer Polk music.
If you go here, your haircut will definitely not look plane.
This finally proves that most Californians are in a vegetative state.
It turns out, every state has a panhandle.
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. So, like, just be chill, ya dig?"
"Ding Dong" jokes just don't quite work as well for some reason.
Hopefully Tennessee is dolphin-safe.
"...with liberty and justice for all...except for those bees who won't let me take their honey."
If you were hoping to drink that tea, it was sadly the victim of "Sabotage."
But they're super, super friendly while doing it.
This photo really makes us paws for reflection.
If he hadn't discovered electricity, he would have discovered flower power.
We hate to say it, but some of these puns are a little RUFF.
Even if you're not always into puns, you eventually have to surrender.
Cool, so what's the joke about the Liberty Bell? I wanna hear it!