For the record, trees tend not to appreciate being enclosed in a prison made out of their dead family members.

I knew that watering my lawn with vodka and Red Bull was a bad idea.

Normally, I'm not in favor of taking an axe to pedestrians in the middle of the street, but today I might be willing to make an exception.

This tree has the same natural defense as a child who's just been told it's bedtime: go completely limp and hope nobody wants to deal with its nonsense right now.

If a fish somehow finds its way onto land and then suddenly gets stuck in a tree and nobody's around to see how it happened, does it make a sound?

Answer: Yes. A horrible, horrible sound.

Trees are so indecisive. I'm just sorry that Melinda had to get wrapped up in this drama.

And as for you, tree, quit being such a softwood and get over her.

The most amazing thing? After he finished the cut, the rest of the tree fell to the ground, while that one branch remained conveniently suspended in mid-air. 

I'm honestly not sure if this is a fail or a win. Can we get a meme expert on the case for an official verdict? Your 6-year-old brother will do just fine.

We tried to warn George of the Jungle to watch out for that tree, but he just wouldn't listen.

Feeling down because your new office job has cut into your club time? Don't be distraught. This tree will do enough twerking for the both of you.

While the news reports said this was due to a sudden Louisiana sinkhole, sources close to the tree said that the real reason for the move was actually a very literal interpretation of the song "Under the Sea."

We can't even have a nice afternoon snack without you making everything about yourself, can we, Tree?

We're not joking, here. As CNN confirmed, this really is a drunk moose. He ate too many fermented apples, then got stuck. Thankfully, after being freed and sleeping it off, he was fine.

Though after that embarrassing story, I'm sure it wishes it could have remained anonymoose.

Geez, you try to get a nice photo of your friends and then this palm tree noses its way into the picture. Dude, you're never going to be part of the gang. Just move on.

I don't know why I even buy tickets to watch the tree marathon...

I was about to get into a fight with this guy, until I realized the tree was actually telling me I'm #1.

(Well, that's what I chose to believe after seeing how jacked his arm was, anyway.)

I'm sick of you sequoia freeloading on the side of the road, buddy. Last time I gave you money, you blew it all on birdhouses.

This tree's steadfast refusal to grow up makes me realize it must be of the millennial generation.

Situations like these are why I hate nature. The Matrix can't come fast enough, as far as I'm concerned.

You've got a tree that went and uprooted itself, and once the homeowner begins to try to dispose of it, goes and changes its mind. It's a tree that can't even die correctly.

I think we're done here because that, my friends, is the ultimate tree fail.