When riding on a motorcycle or traveling through a dusty area, it's useful to have a mask that covers your nose and mouth. Alternatively, when trying to scare the bejesus out of children for your own sadistic pleasure, it's useful to have a terrifying skull face. Now, those two activities can be one in the same. You're welcome.
This credit card-sized multi-tool does so many things that Billy Mays would have endorsed it. It's a can opener, knife, screwdriver, wrench, saw blade, atom smasher, reference guide, and artificial sweetener. OK, I made those last three up, but even still, it's worth two bucks.
Now, you can discretely use your laptop in a darkened airplane cabin without bothering anyone. Or, even more enticingly, you can point this light behind you to blind that annoying kid that keeps kicking your seat.
If your favorite way to deliver passive-aggressive feedback to people is though cat photos, then this Grumpy Cat sticker book is for you. But, if you prefer healthy, reasonable human contact... then what are you doing on the Internet right now?
Where's the party at? WHEREVER YOU ARE! That's because you have these light-up finger clips, and they give you license to party anywhere. So, when the judge asks you to stop making a scene at your public intoxication hearing, tell them it's OK. We gave you permission.
How cute. These are extendable pens shaped like little vitamins. And, at only 75 cents, you'll have plenty of money left over to pay the emergency room doctor after you swallow one thinking it's your back pain pill.
This may just be the best dollar that you ever spend. For just a dollar, you get a 7" vinyl with two singles from the Dublin Drag Orchestra. Yes, the band is exactly what you think-- an orchestra comprised of Irish men dressed in drag. Even if the music was terrible (which it's not), this record is worth it for the conversation piece alone.
When you're out camping with the family or working in the garden, we'll forgive you if you happen to forget to bring along your band saw. That's why you should get one of these portable saw wires. Yeah, you won't look as cool using this as you would if you brought a machete, but on the other hand, having one of these on your person won't get you kicked out of any national parks.
This book is full of 101 recipes for the calorie-conscious, which prices out to about a penny per dish. This is great news, because lately, the only thing getting skinnier in my life is my wallet. Well, that and my wife's patience for my Happy Meal toys collection. THEY'RE CALLED "COLLECTIBLES," LINDSEY!
Guys, don't you hate it when girls want some sort of token of your love, affection, and commitment? (Ugh, women! Am I right?) Get out of that predicament by giving her this little heart-shaped... necklace... thing. She'll be fooled into thinking you're a nice guy or whatever, and you'll still have cash left over to spend on your one true love: yourself.
Did you know that Japanese students are crushing their American counterparts in the fields of science and math? Why is that? I don't know, but it probably has something to do with their expertise in folding paper birds. It's about time we close the gap.
This trick pack of gum delivers a surprise shock to whoever touches the false stick. In addition to that, it also turns you, the owner of the trick gum, into a comedy genius... because nothing's funnier than hurting people when they don't expect it. Just ask that girl I broke up with on prom night!
(I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Nobody wanted to be my date at prom.)
It's especially funny how this listing feels the need to specify that this dust cap is iPhone, HTC, and Samsung compatible. It's a sparkly dog that fits into your headphone jack. Trust us, you won't need to purchase any adapters.
If every television show I've ever watched as a child is to be believed, a single fake mustache is all that you need in order to gain admittance to somewhere you are not normally allowed. By that logic, if you wear all twelve of these on your face simultaneously, you'll be unstoppable.
Are these touch screen gloves the best ones on the market? Of course not.
...Unless, that is, they're the only gloves you have with you. Then, they're suddenly worth a lot more than two dollars. And sure, they'll probably rip after a little while, but by that point you'll be somewhere warm and won't care anymore.
Truthfully, I don't get the appeal of the whole "painting your fingernails" thing. But, chances are, you know somebody who does. And here's a shocker: it's actually a ludicrously expensive hobby. If you buy this for them as a gift, they'll probably think you spent a bunch of money, and isn't that what's really important?