You could just tell us if it's a boy or a girl, you know. But no, I guess coming to a gender reveal party is fine, after the initial pregnancy reveal and the baby shower. By the time this kid is born I'll be too sick of celebrating it to even care.
Remember your folks inviting some friends over, ordering a pizza and playing video games all afternoon? A birthday party doesn't need an itinerary of events to be fun. Remember: this is for your kids, not to impress the parents.
It's cute and admirable that you're taking such an interest in every aspect of your child's life. But when they say, "I'm hungry," an apple will usually do. You don't need to rush to Pinterest every time their tummy grumbles.
It'd be nice if school lunches in America were as awesome as they were in other parts of the world. But this right here? This is too nice. I wouldn't even know where to start feasting on this thing. Is it nutrition or just decoration at this point?
Have you noticed how parents have started taking elaborate photos of their baby to document each month of their life? They're way too staged. When we were young, our baby photos were more organic. They happened when a parent said, "Hey, look what they're doing. Quick, grab the camera!"
Ditto for this photo. Growing up, the family pictures you cherish most aren't the carefully orchestrated ones. They're the ones of your folks covered in the spaghetti sauce you just flung. Those are memories worth preserving, not the time your folks decided to cosplay as the Kardashians of Mt. Olympus.
Ever see a Christmas Card so extra you wish Krampus was real? Christmas cards should be an opportunity to wish friends and loved ones good cheer. You shouldn't be showing off how your two year old is already shoveling the driveway.
And you thought it was annoying when parents had "My child is an honor student" bumper stickers. It's not good enough to broadcast that during rush hour. Now they have to post it for the whole world to see.
You may have heard the story of YouTuber DaddyOFive. He pranked his children so hard and so often for his YouTube channel he lost custody of them. Take note, parents: "Got your nose" is as far as you ever need to go.
Have I been asleep for half a century? Whatever happened to "Ashley," "Brittany" and "Jessica?" It seems like overnight they've been abducted and replaced with "Ashleygh," "Britenigh" and "Jeseekhah (pronounced "Bob")."
You may have noticed a lot of these photos are posted on Facebook and Instagram. Thank goodness we were all born before social media was a thing. I can't imagine what type of psychological issues this next generation will grow up with knowing their parents are manipulating their cuteness just for more likes.