You have to wash your hair every day, wether you want to or not. It's almost like your hair is holding you hostage, and you have to give into it's demands in order to not look like you went swimming in a fry cooker. You're stuck feeding the beast every day, and if you skip a wash, the whole world knows.
Even if you could survive a hurricane, there's no way your hair would. Even a gentle breeze is too much gust for your lovely locks, and your hair ends up looking like a tangled mess. So much so, that birds try to make their nest in it.
It would be super fun to try that retro '60s throwback look! You know, the one that requires the support of a "bump it" to make you look like you have more hair than you actually do. And while you would love to have more hair, you don't even have enough hair to create even the illusion of having a normal amount of hair.
How is it possible that your hair is too fine for even a braid? It seems like a simple thing. It's not. They just kind of hang limply from your head, like weird noodles.
It takes you an hour to curl your hair. Which is fitting, because it takes an hour for them to fall out too. There's no hairspray in the world that will make those suckers stay. They'll slip away from you, like sands of time through an hourglass.
When you pull your hair back into a ponytail — or worse — a bun, your hairline looks all sorts of ravaged. For a minute you fear that you're going bald, but then you realize it's always looked this way and Mother Nature just hates you. Why did she single you out for this torture?
You have to use volumizing shampoo to give your hair that little extra oomph it needs to look halfway decent. Every single bottle of shampoo you owns contains an ingredient along the lines of "energizing citrus." And while it's never enough, at least it's something.
Even if you color your hair, you can never use the shampoo that's meant for color treated hair. If you do, your hair will look vibrant yet flat. And since flat hair is your daily struggle, you chose the option to have your hair color fade fast and furiously. Pick your poison!
You've tried out every product on the market to give your hair more va-va-voom! None of them work. Your bathroom is now littered with half-used volumizing sprays and gels. It's pretty much a graveyard for Garnier.
Biotin has said to give a person stronger, fuller hair. Of course you know that. You know every scientific advancement, folk treatment, witchcraft and magic spell known to man that maybe, might, possibly give you extra volume in your strands.
Nope. Don't even. You learned your lesson at senior prom. That business is going to fall down immediately. There are no bobby pins in the world that can give life to your dead hair.
But you have to do something to your hair. If you leave it down, it just kind of hangs. There's not much you can do, but at least you try. And that's what counts, right?
In order for you to be able to do anything at all with your hair, you have to purposely damage it. But then your hair is damaged, and you end up walking a line that's finer than your hair. Damage your hair too little and it lays limp. Damage your hair too much and you're walking around with brittle straw on your head. It's a delicate balance!
LOL to the person who said you should put coconut oil in your hair. Or argan oil. Or any kind of oil. More oil is the opposite of what your hair needs. Is their an oil treatment that takes oil out? No? Then everyone can GTFO with their oil treatment recommendations.
It would be nice to be able to do hair extensions and get longer, fuller hair. You cannot, because those extensions would be more obvious than a TV pregnancy. You just have to make do with what you have!