Thank you, Topshop. You have answered all our prayers that we never once prayed for. Now it'll be even more obvious when you spill mustard on your pants.

Hologram City saw the reaction to the male romper and said, "We can go further." Thus, the lace costume for men was born.

I'm not gonna lie: this looks comfy af. I don't care what looks I'd get wearing this with my bros on a gondola.

Are you cold? Are you lonely? Do you have tons of expendable income and absolutely no shame wearing essentially a mobile body pillow? Then designer Si Chan is your hook-up.

This looks like an ad for a dating site that members of Farmers Only would make fun of. Want to show off your little piggies while working a rodeo? Then Redneck Boot Sandals is your destination, friend.

From ASOS, we have the Bluebella "Unwrap Me" Body Bow. Is this a dress? A bathing suit? A one time gag? Either way, maybe make sure to save the receipt, and definitely dry clean after each use.

Also for sale from ASOS is the Jersey-knotted beach skirt sarong. This is perfect if you want to turn heads on the beach, specifically making people wonder why you have dominatrix utensils trailing behind you. Speaking of turning heads at the beach...

This item from Beloved is turning heads. Mainly in a weird, uncanny valley sort of way. No one knows how to feel about this, but if you like it, we won't judge. We still might stare, though.

Know what's more ridiculous than this? The fact it was designed by Rihanna. Thanks for giving her an outlet, Puma, but we'd all prefer a new album instead.

Opening Ceremony dared to ask, "What if jeans were detachable?"

And the world answered, "I dunno. This, I guess."

Think these jeans could use a wash? Well, you're wrong. They are sold looking like this. What type of niche, unknown company would do something like this?

Oh... Nordstrom.

Want to give someone the cold shoulder? Want to give yourself the cold shoulder? Why? That's not how that's supposed to work. Anyway, if you're up for it, visit Topshop.

ASOS again?! When you're in need of a ridiculous outfit, they're your guys. In this case, a secret bib. I guess I just don't understand fashion.

I Love Ugly. That's the name of the brand, not the rallying cry for anyone who would buy this. For ladies, this is an excellent shirt to wear with your plastic jeans, so you can have everyone in public stare at your underwear everywhere you go.

Do you want to look like a cheesy vintage pro wrestler? Then go to Outnet and pick them up. They ring in at just under $900. That's a steal compared to this next item...

It's somewhat ironic this company is called Ssense, because this makes none. This costs over $1,400. Maybe that'd be worth it if this was actually worn by giant Mario as he saved the Mushroom Kingdom. Otherwise, nah.