Shoulder pads were rampant in the 80s and 90s. They were for Very Serious Business Ladies to show how Very Serious they were about their Business. But they were hardly ever flattering and more often than not bolstered an oversized beige blazer, which didn't help anybody. Let's shrug off shoulder pads for good.

PUT DOWN THE BEDAZZLER AND STEP AWAY FROM THE PANTS. NOW TRANSPORT YOURSELF TEN YEARS IN THE FUTURE AND FORGET THIS EVER HAPPENED.

We all swooned hard for the Devon Sawas and the Rider Strongs and the Jonathan Taylor Thomases and the Nick Carters and the Matthew Lawrences of the 90s... (It was a very popular haircut.) That doesn't mean it was right.

There are two types of people in this world. The type that see skorts as shorts with skirt flaps in the front, and the type that see them as skirts with shorts in the back. However you see it, everyone can agree on one thing: it's a horrible piece of clothing. 

Remember when your hair could add inches to your height?! When you could either tease the whole shebang...or just the bangs?! The only hair teasing that should be happening these days is the kind where we make fun of how our hair looked back then.

Chain wallets are great if you like having a place to keep your money but literally can't hold onto objects without dropping them. 

There was a period in the early 2000's when middle schoolers regularly cosplayed as wine-drunk housewives thanks to the proliferation of Juicy Couture velour tracksuits. It was a dark time in our history, and we'd just like to move on. 

You may have forgotten Mark McGrath's other name””The Tippy Top King of Frosted Tips. Don't let the name fool you. It has nothing to do with cupcakes. It's much more sinister than that.

"Shorts so short the pockets are longer than the actual short! They're more like underwear! But like, uncomfortable underwear because they're made of denim! Ripped denim, so they could unravel at any moment! Oh also, wear them with cowboy boots." -the worst clothing promo ever

"Business up front, party in the back" is a terrible excuse for a haircut. We suggest the "business up front, business in the back, business everywhere" or if that's too much, the "business up front, party in the back, but it's a nice, quiet dinner party with some wine and lit candles."

Apparently, JNCO Jeans are actually making a comeback. But if we close our eyes and pray extra hard, maybe it won't happen. These monstrously oversized pants weren't comfortable, practical, or attractive. Which leaves brainwashing as the only possible reason they became popular.

Are you dressed as a yeti?

Are your feet in the Arctic? 

If you answered no to one or both of these questions, never wear giant furry boots. Thank you and have a nice day.

Im fairly certain not one windbreaker in the history of windbreakers was actually recorded breaking wind. I bet many of the people who wore them were, though. This was truly the clothing item for people who wanted to announce their presence. If the neon colors didn't attract enough attention, you could be sure the constant swooshing sound with every move you made would.

If your thong wasn't showing, it was your butt crack, neither of which were remotely attractive. Or appropriate. Or comfortable. Definitely not comfortable.

The tube top looks good on approximately 0.000000000000000001% of the population. Meaning...not you. Don't even try.