On the left is the slim, exercising fitness star that I wish I was. On the right is the overweight, cookie-filled blob I know I am.
Oh, you couldn't be happy with just enjoying s'mores and chocolate chip cookies separately, could you? You had to get greedy. Well, look what you've brought into the world now.
"Babe, I wanted to make something that said, 'I love you,' but..."
"BACON!! Oh, I love you, too!"
Are you sure those are supposed to be Star Wars cookies? Because, if I had to bet on which film characters those were supposed to be, I'd have to go with the cast of Flubber.
These cookies teach kids a valuable lesson: even if you come out a little pudgier than you'd have liked, you can still draw a six-pack on your stomach and everything will look just fine.
We left these candy cane cookies out for Santa last Christmas, and instead of giving us gifts, he took stuff away.
...Or, maybe we just got robbed?
You know, I'd say something snarky about these, but honestly they still look delicious.
Hey, man, chocolate's chocolate.
Here we have a baking experiment that almost turned out perfectly, but then was ruined by a frosting malfunction. Just goes to show you, kids: Always eat a cake as fast as you can, because you never know when it might suddenly turn on you.
You know that feeling in February when you see all that overpriced Valentine's Day crap and you wonder, "Why would anybody pay for this?"
Well, this photo is why. Sometimes, a $40 box of chocolates is just easier.
See, now this is a Star Wars cookie! That's a dead-on Jabba the Hutt.
"Try making brownies in the waffle iron," they said. "It'll save on clean-up time," they said...
Hmm...must have been a problem with the batter. Try watering it down some more and see if that helps.
I can see why he's so excited. He finally has some meat on his bones again.
Hang on, I know how to save this. Just take the cookie bowls out of the oven for fifteen minutes, place them in the garbage and use regular bowls like a normal person.
Hey, instead of making the cinnamon rolls where the secret ingredient is love, do you think next time you could try making them where the secret ingredient is talent?