Woman Arrested After Doing Strip Yoga Near a Middle School

Advertisement
In Ocala Florida, police officers arrested 51-year-old Michele Rene Cernak on a slew of drug charges, including possession of heroin.
 
Authorities didn't have to work very hard to catch Michele with illegal substances, because she took it upon herself to engage in public behavior so strange it gave the cops more than enough probable cause to search her car. They found her dope stash, along with syringes and illegally acquired prescription pills. What behavior gave them enough probable cause to search her car? Yoga.
 
Now, yoga is definitely a stupid activity that makes me question the mental stability of those fanatically devoted. What's so great about...being super still for an extended period of time? And don't get me started on people who practice yoga in the park or at the beach. Don't you just want to push them over?
 
But like it or not, there's nothing illegal or suspicious about doing yoga, indoors or out, and it's actually a pretty common sight these days. So common in fact, that a person's choice to assume a bunch of funny-looking positions in public would only raise suspicion if they were blocking traffic by doing so in the middle of the road, or started stripping their clothes off during the workout.
 
Well, it just so happens that Michele was guilty of doing both. According to reports, on the day of her arrest the fitness/heroin junkie pulled her pick-up truck over to the side of the road (located two blocks away from a middle school) and left it running while she performed a series of stretches in between lanes "“ removing articles of clothing as she went.
 
When police arrived, Michele already had her pants around her ankles "“ one of which was freshly bleeding from the prick of a smack-full needle "“ prompting their search of Michele's vehicle, followed immediately by her arrest.
 
While this might sound like just another wacky story about yet another wacky arrest made in Florida, there's actually a lesson to be learned from all this: Don't do drugs. Although I would argue that "don't do yoga," is an equally important takeaway. After all, in Michele's case, we don't know which activity she got hooked on first. 

Advertisement
Advertisement
You May Also Like
These Adorable Animals Are Interrupting Yoga Time
These pets just can't "Namasté" away from their owners.
Hilarious Yoga Fails
Just because you're doing Yoga, doesn't mean you're graceful.
People Who Hilariously Failed
If you're going to fail, make sure someone is taking a picture.