"No one will know I'm stealing art if my dress is a giant box!"
There are hundreds, if not thousands, of valuable paintings that are missing and presumed stolen. This woman is currently smuggling all of them.
Well, that solves the mystery of who stole "The Concert" by Johannes Vermeer.
This woman hollowed out a Picasso sculpture and is wearing it as a dress until she can sell it to the highest bidder, and you can't convince me otherwise!
Shortly after this model started showing off this overcoat, most of the Dead Sea Scrolls went missing. Coincidence?
You could easily fit like eight Faberge eggs in that thing.
The dress is just there to distract from the fact that this woman probably has a bunch of Van Goghs taped to her legs.
So THAT'S where "Self-Portrait" by Meyer de Haan went off to!
By law, we can't say that this woman is an art thief, but we CAN say that the angles on this dress look a lot like frames. We'll leave the accusations to the police we just called.
"No one will suspect me of smuggling 'Portrait of a Young Man' by Raphael in my giant rectangle jacket."
We're on to you, rectangular jacket guy. We're on to you.
If we owned the Excelsior Diamond, we'd be double checking our giant diamond safe right about now.
Your plan to smuggle one of Da Vinci's crazy inventions out of Florence disguised as a dress almost worked. ALMOST.
This guy's back must hurt from carrying several stolen Monets under that overly bulky jacket.
...Expecting to sell "Girl in Front of Open Window" by Paul Gauguin, which she is CLEARLY smuggling under her dress, that is.
Those shoulder pads would be great for smuggling the original Betsy Ross flag, but this lady already knows that.
We bet you could fit a lot of plundered artwork under that poncho. Maybe even "The Just Judges" by Jan van Eyck. Oh, that's already been stolen you say? That's convenient...VERY convenient.
The smile on this guy's face just screams "art thief."
That hat box is JUST big enough to fit a stolen copy of Action Comics Issue #1.
That dress must be pretty heavy when all of the boxes are filled with smuggled jewelry.
Art smuggling jumped by one thousand percent the day Pharrell started wearing big hats. We rest our case.