Hipster restaurants put on their vintage suspenders one arm at a time. Just like the rest of us.
"Cups" cut us off from the spaces around us. Lightbulbs, um, lightbulbs are, like, super cool looking. So, yeah.
Why should I pay over $100 to eat a crappy school lunch?
"Um, cause it's art."
This is what happens when you have to many "yes" men around you. And they're all wearing flannels.
Cheesecake is perfect the way it is. It's sugar, cheese and cake. It does not need to be "deconstructed," whatever the hell that means.
Contractor: "And then we have the standard hand dryer that we'll put in as well."
Hipster Restaurateur: "Excuse me? Did you just say 'standard'? I don't think so."
Want to eat overpriced food on an uncomfortable chair in a cold drafty warehouse? That'll be a two-hour wait.
Only in a hipster restaurant will you find tables that you can't actually put anything on. You know, because it's "stylish."
Asking a hipster why they have a row boat in their restaurant is like asking a child why they're crying. You may get poop thrown at you and the child's not gonna understand you either.
What better way to rip off aging millennials than to hit them where it hurts: their childhood. Sell them over-priced cereals from their youth and you'll be rich.
What better way to combine your hipster lifestyle with your useless art degree? Just draw handlebar mustaches on foam and don't stop to think about the pain inside.
Don't settle for a regular gin and tonic for $6 when you can have this, um, thing for $14! You see it's a gin AND tonic.
You might be a hipster if you don't live in the woods, but you require a mustache guard for your beer. Oh, and you're also insufferable.
Guys, coffee is none of these things. It's just beans that are ground up and mixed with hot water.
Hipster #1: "Hey bro, can I borrow this fedora?"
Hipster #2: "No, sorry man. That's my work fedora."
Hipster #1: "No worries, man."
They ride off into the sunset on one of those bikes with a huge front wheel and a tiny back wheel.
"How else am I suppose to use my 19th Century Calligraphy degree? I spent $200,000 of my parent's money on that."
Why have any indication of what you sell on the outside of your building? It's not like you're actually trying to make money, right? Cause if you are that's really desperate and SO not hip.
If you drink a beverage, but it's not it a mason jar, can you even call yourself a hipster? No. The answer is no.
One does not simply "make" a taco. They must "fabricate" it in an urban environment.
Woman: "So what do you do?"
Man: "I'm a scientist."
Woman: "Oh, really? Where do you work?"