Millennials have become known as the generation putting off marriage for Tinder. In 1960, the average age of a bride and groom was 20 and 23, respectively, whereas in 2011 the ages increased to 26 and 29, respectively.
But as it turns out, young people today might be onto something….
Our parents’ generation criticizes us for causing the decline of the institution of marriage due to things like dating apps. Despite this information, young people aren’t a loveless generation at all; in fact, they’re staying together longer than their parents.
Obviously the exact age is up to the individual ultimately, but an Allstate/National JournalHeartland Monitor poll found that both older and younger Americans feel that the ideal age group for getting married is 25-30.
It can be hard to wait when you’re young and in love with your significant other, but here are some specific reasons of why you might want to wait until you’re in your late 20s or later to think about tying the knot!
Weddings are expensive AF, and unless you’re planning to elope or you have a rich uncle who’s offered to pay for the entire wedding, it’s probably smarter to hold off until you’re more established in your career.
In the words of Aziz Ansari from his book Modern Romance:
“It’s not about finding someone decent to start a family with. It’s about finding the perfect person whom you truly, deeply love … We want something that’s very passionate, or boiling, from the get-go. In the past, people weren’t looking for something boiling: they just needed some water. Once they found it and committed to a life together, they did their best to heat things up. Now, if things aren’t boiling, committing to marriage seems premature.”
Call it selfish, but sometimes you’ve gotta figure yourself out for a while before you can really commit to another person. Waiting to get married can also help you and your future spouse fully establish yourselves as separate people who aren’t constantly attached at the hip...because nobody likes those couples anyway.
This one goes along with establishing your financial status. It’s also a way that you can make sure that you and your partner share similar values, since a career can take up a huge portion of your life and can really shape who you are.
When you’re older, you’ll probably also have a better handle on managing your work-life balance, so you won’t feel too consumed by either one.
Having kids is a very personal decision, and your thought process can be made cloudy if you’re discussing it with another person who has a vastly different opinion than you. It’s never a good idea to settle on an issue as big as raising your own kids, so it’s good to know exactly what you want!
A study conducted by Psychologist Stephanie S. Spielman found that the fear of being single is indicative of settling for less in relationships in the long run and being with a partner who is not right for you.
Shrugging off the fear of being alone is the first step in being happy with yourself and knowing exactly what you want out of another person.
At first glance it can definitely seem like young people today just don’t like commitment. In reality, however, millennials are just more keen on waiting around for the right person because they want to make sure it’ll be forever.
Hamish Shephard, the founder of Bridebook, says, “Marriages are becoming stronger than ever, relationships happier and more committed than ever, and couples more independent and consensual in their decisions than ever.”