Even if you’re not aware of what you’re doing, you still have your moves. We all do. Some do them quite consciously because they want to have sex, while others think they don’t feel like it but they still do certain moves, unconsciously, that will lead them to have sex.
Can you make a list of your moves? Well, no matter how smooth or awkward you are, it seems that they are irrelevant when it comes to making a lasting impression. At least, this is what scientists are telling us.
You could be an incredibly flexible human being. You could be a pro in the sheets and confident enough to try anything, but this is not what matters according to scientists. Rather, it is what you do right after you finish having sex that will make all the difference and have you make a lasting impression
It seems that all you need is 15 minutes of cuddling post-sex to boost the whole experience and turn up the satisfaction level of your relationship. I know, I know, and please don’t puke because I too have a strong aversion to this whole cuddling business. So let’s get rid of the cuteness factor in cuddling; let’s say "touching" because that’s something we can stomach.
The study was led by a group of researchers from the University of Toronto. The researchers have concluded how crucial those few minutes post-sex are. They found that “duration of post-sex affection was associated with higher sexual satisfaction and, in turn, higher relationship satisfaction — which suggests that ‘the period after sex is a critical time for promoting satisfaction in intimate bonds.’”
The researchers conducted four experiments for this study. What they did first is question 335 married people. They asked questions such as how many times they had sex but also how frequently they used “affectionate touching” to get closer to their partner, such as cuddling, kissing, hand holding…etc.
These individuals were also asked to rate their “life satisfaction” from 1 to 5. Besides the 335 married individuals, there were another 78 couples who were also questioned. The latter were asked the same kind of questions but the researchers asked more in-depth questions that would have them talk about their state of emotions — positive emotions like amusement and joy in their relationship.
After the questioning portion of the experiment, the researchers then moved to the third and fourth experiment. One of the experiments involved 106 couples who had children under 8 years of age. These couples were asked to keep a diary of their sex life, their emotional state, and a record of the affection with their partner.
For the other experiment, 58 college-age couples participated. They were asked to do the same thing as the married couples. These college-age couples had to document their sex life and emotional state.
The results showed that there was a connection between the factors analyzed. Sex frequency, positive emotions, and life satisfaction were all connected. According to these researchers, these factors were dependent on touching.
It seems that when the researchers removed affection, the connection between sex and well-being became insignificant. But this is not a fact that pertained solely to older couples who had been married for a number of years. This connection was relevant to all individuals, no matter their age, the duration of their relationship and even their relationship status.
Another interesting result from this study is that sex is what makes a couple want to touch each other more. This was found in the diaries of the participants. It seems that the majority of the touching happened after having sex, not before.
Physical contact is crucial for human beings. Our sense of touch is the last sense to diminish when we are old. Studies have also shown how important touch is for a baby’s development, so much so, that a study revealed how babies left in orphanages were “severely affected” and “unable to function as children” because of a lack of physical contact.
Physical contact comes with a number of benefits. For one, it increases oxytocin which is the hormone that gives us a sense of connection to the world. It also drops our cortisol which is the stress hormone, thus making us feel less anxious. Moreover, physical contact triggers dopamine — the pleasure hormone — which we could all us more of.
So maybe we think cuddling is stupid or too needy of an act but we can’t really argue with science on this one. Let’s call it what we want; we don’t need to say "cuddle" ever in our life, but being physically close to someone, besides during the sexual act, has its benefits as science has proved. If for nothing else, touch gives us the sense of being connected to someone and a feeling of being loved, and isn’t that what we all need?