You know the drill by now. You need your coffee. You're in a rush. So you speed off to your local Starbucks and put in your order. You're a pretty simple person. You don't need any bells and whistles. You just need your caffeine fix, and you need it now. Thanks, Starbucks, for giving us energy.
But then there are those other people. The people who don't really drink coffee as much as they're drinking crazy, frilly and colorful drinks that contain enough sugar to keep you hyper for a month. Yeah, there are some people who like to order these monstrosities.
This Tumblr user was a barista at Starbucks until he put in his two weeks. Congratulations for escaping the syrupy nightmare. While he was there, however, he documented all the ridiculous drinks that people would order, and you're going to have to see them to believe them.
This person's dentist probably loves them. But their baristas? We are certain they do not. The fact that it's a venti is fairly ridiculous on its own. But let's see. Eight pumps of chai and four pumps of classic syrup on top of that? Are they feeding a village?
You know when you're trying to opt for something a little more healthy, you go for tea? Tea's a good coffee alternative, isn't it? Alright, way to to, guy. The key to health is creating a lifestyle. Wait a minute, what are you doing? 18 pumps of syrup isn't the key to creating a healthy anything.
We've always thought it. If you're going to try to drink coffee that's nonfat and no sugar, maybe don't drink coffee at all. You're ruining the idea of coffee for everybody else. And you're holding up the line. That's not a simple drink.
What's that you're drinking? Just a good ol' classic caramel frappuccino. Oh. With a little extra caramel syrup. Just a little, calm down. Like 16 pumps. The insane amount it already comes with wasn't enough.
You know it's Fall when the pumpkin starts coming out in droves. But wait. There can never be too much pumpkin. That's this person's motto. So they just got 20 extra pumps of it, for good measure. But no whip. Apparently there actually can be too much whip.
Apparently, these crazy drink die-hards really don't like their whip. After all, there's a lot of fat in the whip. Can't be having any of that. But what you can be having is a combined total of so much sugar you might as well look forward to a future of wearing dentures right now.
You know, compared to the other drinks we've seen so far, this one actually seems on the tamer side. They only want to half wake up, because they want half decaf. And apparently, raspberries are their favorite thing in the whole entire world.
We have our own opinions on Splenda, and those are...that Splenda is pretty gross. This person has their opinion on Splenda, too. And that's that they absolutely can't get enough of it. Give this person a part-time job as a Splenda rep.
Do you want some coffee with that sugar? We're beginning to believe these people don't actually like coffee at all. At least their banana nut bread order seems perfectly normal. Can you add sugar to that?
We give up. We quit. If someone ordered this drink from us, we'd throw in our green apron. The order was so complicated, after all, that there wasn't a pre-made button to describe it - they have to just ask how to make this abomination to coffee.
It's 7 A.M. and they're ordering twenty pumps of syrup. Really rough night last night? Well, you're in for a really rough day today. That sugar crash is going to hit you really hard. Hope you're ready to drink another one of these to fix it. It's a vicious cycle.
Now that you've seen it all, do you feel better about your own drink order? Or are you one of these people who requires extra special attention at the checkout? Let us know your favorite Starbucks drink.