"I already had acne when I was a teen! I did my time. If something from my youth just has to come back, why can't it be my ability to eat a Quarter Pounder, large fries and a 9-piece Chicken McNugget without gaining any weight?"
2. The Amount Of Money You Pay For Products Is Obscene
Having acne means spending money ”” lots and lots of money ”” on solutions to get rid of said acne. Think of all that money you'd have if you didn't suffer from acne. Think of all the cool things you could buy.*
*Cocaine. I'm talking about cocaine. Cocaine is cool, right?
How do you know? Because that giant zit is throbbing.* It's like a beacon that's saying, "You may be telling the most interesting story ever, but right now all this person can do is focus on the big ass zit that is on your chin."
*This is a bit misleading, I must admit, as zits basically throb 24/7 like a dance party in Berlin circa 1997.
Sure, you could go out and experience ridicule, derision and mockery about your acne, all of which is probably not real and is probably all just in your head, but why risk it? Better to hole up, binge-watch Penny Dreadful and eat stick after stick of string cheese.
What do you mean cover-up doesn't make your acnelook like it's completely disappeared?! What do you mean that people can still kinda tell that I have a face full of pimples?! What the hell am I even using it for then?
They might be the sweetest people in the world. They might volunteer in a soup kitchen. They might give a portion of their salary to save the whales. They might spend every Sunday playing cello to senior citizens.
But they don't suffer from acne...so they are garbage people.
Conversely, these people might chew with their mouth open. They might sneeze into their hand instead of into the crook of their arm. They might use the word "irregardless," which is not a real word, but they keep using it anyway despite it being annoying AF.
But that's okay. They suffer from acne. So they are family.
Technically it's temporary, but if you did a timeline for each time you had a pimple, it went away and then a new one popped up, that timeline would go on forever. Having acne is like reading War and Peace: It feels like it never ends.
Nothing is more stressful than having acne and trying to make yourself not feel stressed about having acne. It's an enigma wrapped in a puzzle topped with a huge whitehead that has been covered in tea tree oil.