We recently asked our Guff audience to share their most embarrassing stories from middle school, and boy howdy did you all deliver! We've got stories about training bra troubles, explosive farts, gym class and projectile vomiting. Frankly, we feel bad for your teachers. Read on for some of the most cringeworthy tales middle school has to offer...
"This punk boy in Band class, singled me out.....He started asking me questions, and everyone got quiet,,,,He said..... 'If you did not have hands, would you wear gloves?', I said 'no'... 'If you did not have feet , would you wear shoes ?'...I said 'no'.....then he said , 'Then why are you wearing a bra?" ....F***ing bastard." – Iris C.
"I had a stomach ache and my mom made me go to school anyways. I was in 7th grade at the time and we were doing a reading assignment it was quiet in the classroom not a sound and I let out the biggest fart by accident. I wanted to die. I missed school for a few days after that. So embarrassing I was so pissed at my mom for making me go with a stomach ache lol." – Miranda F.
"Fart in class, and accidently [sic] pooped my underwear, got a bathroom pass to take them and go commando, but lol someone actually found them, and they searched all day for the kid with no undies, they never caught me." – Samuel A.
"My older sister by 9 years volunteered to chaperone my eighth grade dance. Instead she wound up dancing with all the boys. She is 5'11" and they all were chest level and loving it. The next morning everyone was talking about the weird older lady who was creeping on the boys. No one knew knew [sic] she was my sister thankfully because I was mortified." – Nicole R.
"I missed the instruction class for how to use gym equipment. So i missed the part where they tell you have to slow down the treadmill before getting off. Anyways I fell and there was a wall behind me so my feet caught. Unfortunately the spinning of the treadmill pulled down my pants. So nearly everyone in my middle school class saw my ass. ,)" – Jenny W.
"Had a migraine in french class. I desperately tried to get the attention of my teacher, but she didn't call on me and I couldn't hold back the vomit anymore. I vomited EVERYWHERE. The kid in front of me, my desk, the floor, EVERYWHERE. I ran out to the hallway and cried." – Mirinda S.
"Once i was standing outside my classroom after lunch with a line of other students waiting for the teacher to come back and let us in his class which was locked. i was maybe the third in line behind two popular boys with popped collars who were best friends and always together. anyway they were horse playing and fighting over a tin of ice breakers mints. one of the boys was like "want one? fetch!" to the other boy and threw the mint which rolled under my feet.....the guy who was "fetching" the mint grabbed my foot and lifted my leg up over his head as he dived for the mint that had rolled under my feet and i let out the loudest longest stinkiest fart (i think lunch that day was like chili or something) right on his little blonde perfect haired head. he acted like i had stabbed him in the face with a knife and made this huge deal about making fun of me for it and everyone called me fart girl for like a week. that being said, the kid wasnt as mean about it as he could of been and looking back it WAS hilarious so i cant even be mad. i think the two guys are married now. xD" – Angel W.
"April fools day I pranked all my friend into thinking I was moving. After they found out I was bull shittin the whole grade pranked me, teachers included, saying that they transferred my info to the place I lied about going to. Haha good times." – Autumn O.
"It was 7th grade, I was in my italian class, and it was that time of the month. I felt a little "wet" down there so I asked to go to the bathroom... Don't ask me why I thought it was a good idea to wear white jeans on that day, but i did. I was completely soaked through. I guess my teacher caught that and escorted me to the restroom where she personally was scrubbing my pants under water for me (I know, touching someone elses period blood, ew) When I think back on it, I cant believe how nice she was. But that day I was mortified." – Tamara Z.
"My friend and i were in the girls bathroom during lunch recess and we were caught smoking by the dean of students. He made us go tell the vice principal that we were smoking in the bathroom or else he was going to call our parents. We were so scared, but we went out to the yard and found the VP and told him we had just got caught smoking in the bathroom. Our parents never did find out, but when the Dean would see us in the halls he would call us the Marlboro sisters. He probably never intended to call home, but had a good laugh at our expense." – Heather H.
"Got one of my front teeth knocked clean in half with a hockey stick during gym class. We had no insurance at the time so I spent the last week or so of 8th grade not opening my mouth! I even took a zero on an oral report because I refused to talk in front of the class. Horrifying as an 8th grader but hilarious now!" – Angel L.
"I just finished running the mile in 7th grade. It was hot because...its Florida. & I chugged a bunch of water at the water fountain. My stomach started to get upset so I asked my coach if I could go back to the locker room. & she kept saying no as it got worse. Finally she said yes, so I took off toward the locker room (it was a far walk) & as I start running with my hand over my mouth, I puked & it went all over my face & body as the entire gym class watched." – Taylor L.
"I got stuck in a toilet cubicle, ended up on my hands and knees pulling at the bottom of the door trying to get it to give, suddenly it gave and flew open and smacked me in the face...there were people just standing around watching me -.- thanks for the help!" – Natasha H.